One summer afternoon when I was about fourteen, my stepdad brought home a completely flat-black 1973 Mercury Comet. It had been hit behind the door, but the door had been replaced and someone had hammered the body out enough that the door shut fine. The rest of the car looked awesome, with the GT hoodscoop, small ducktail spoiler and an attitude problem courtesy of a screamer of a 302 under the hood. We had a huge yard (at least a couple of acres) and since we didn’t live near people, I got to raise all sorts of hell. I learned how to do pretty much every illegal maneuver you can do in a car in that Comet. It was light, it was nimble, and it had balls. That car could bootleg-turn without thinking twice.

As I’m surfing eBay, I come across this: A near-perfect visual knock for that Comet, but with the psychotic additions that my teenage brain dreamed up: B&M shifter, cage, and yes, Virginia, that is a 460 under the hood, because there is no replacement for displacement! It’s so close to the old car that I’m twitching and currently is cheap enough that I’m seriously considering the consequences of waking the wife up tomorrow morning to tell her, “Honey, guess what?” Hint: If I stop posting, my body is in the fish pond.

The only two things I don’t agree on are the wheels and the rear spoiler on the eBay car, but they are minor items that can be changed. That spoiler would go and the wheels would be traded for cheap 15×8-ish mags on tires with some sidewall on them.

This is a build plan I refer to as redneck-perfect. The only other car I know I can relate to anyone with is the General Lee Charger, but for BangShifters, a better comparison is Roadkill’s General Mayhem Charger. Go anywhere, do anything and be an absolute badass while doing it. There’s no fear of scratching paint, there’s no worries about hurting it, just go out and have fun. This could be a drag car one night, Aussie burnout contest car the next, and a rally car the next day. It’s not like there’s a huge Maverick/Comet following or a ton of people who would pay you stupid money to take the car from your inspired hands. And you’d be having a f***ing blast with it, I promise.

Look at the Comet and think about other cars that would do well with this setup. What would you run? AMC Eagle wagon with a hot Chrysler small-block? How about a different Dukes tribute car and build Cooter’s Chevelle? Or do I need my head checked? Let me know below. Meanwhile, I’m gonna dream about that thing screaming through the woods throwing up dirt while I bang that shifter like I hate it.

Click Here to see this Mercury’s eBay listing