(Photos: Jack Fogarty/Facebook) If there is one feeling that I love, that I adore, it is being in on a joke that nobody else seems to get, especially when you have that one friend who can’t put two and two together. You can hint all day long. You can pretty much put the punchline in their face. Hell, you can put it right behind them with a flashing marquis and a young Vanna White behind them, all they’d have to do is look, and they won’t notice. They won’t get it until you write the answer onto a brick and throw said brick directly at them. “HEY! What’re …wait, what’s that say? OHHHhhhh…”
Look at this Grand Marquis for a moment. It’s on this website and “cheap car racing” or “jumped” isn’t in the title, so you know there’s a reason we’re paying attention. But look at it. It’s nearly the same color as the Angry Grandpa Chrysler, that pale gold-ish color that screams “Early Bird Special, and don’t forget my discount”. If the Crown Victoria was the grizzled war veteran who had a few stories under their belt, the Grand Marquis was their dolled-up aunt with the big shiny jewelry and the big, fat ass to go along with it. He used to run punks down in the streets. She used to cruise the boulevard with her friends and look the part, but now they both are past their prime, living their lives out until the sun sets.
Well, this is what happens when Auntie develops a habit.
It takes a man with a sick sense of humor to put something like this together. Everything about it. The hidden hair dryer. The hidden intercooler. The hidden piping. The steering wheel nobody would blink twice at with the door shut. The big cue-ball shift handle nobody would notice from one lane over. I almost want to troll through YouTube to see the faces of street punks who’ve been hurt by this barge. I want to see the moment their brain realized that there was never a chance in hell.