For months now, I have been the subvert, the spy hiding between the shelves. I have written about the wild, wacky and sometimes downright irritating customer antics. I have shown my strengths and weaknesses, especially when it has come to insects inside the f***ing store. I have shared the shenanigans, told the stories that normally stay between coworkers, vented untold and unmeasured amounts of anger, offered honest and genuine advice, and I have managed to remain a secret within my own circle. But all of that changed recently, and reluctantly, I have to change the rules of the game so that the Parts Guy can survive and thrive.
Here’s the truth: I’m the Parts Guy. For the maybe six of you that didn’t know…yeah, it’s me. I’ve worked six months at a store I will continue to not name, with a lot of good people and about five dumb mothers. Only one person in the store knows this secret, and only because that person may or may not be a BangShifter as well. When Brian approached me about joining the BangShift team as a full-timer, I knew that I had to leave the store…the time I would devote to writing columns and doing photo shoots and whatever else Brian and Chad throw my way would keep me from having a second job. The moment I said I’d accept the offer, I put my two weeks notice in. Since then I’ve been congratulated and well-wished by most everyone in the store…except Store Manager, who I think is somewhere between happy and angry, I’m not quite sure yet.
But while I’m happy to let the store go, I don’t want to do the same to the Parts Guy. Almost overnight he became a living character. I honestly have been floored from the second I started seeing response posts at how much you all as the reader loved him. He provided the venting that many people who are in or have been behind the counter wanted to see.The humor so far has been all mine. But with me leaving the store, I would have to make stories up in order to keep the column going, and that’s bullshitting you and me both. And I’m not about that. Originally we wanted to turn the Parts Guy into a Stig-like character, but then all you would be getting is another individual’s perspective. The more I thought about it, the more I didn’t like the idea.
So here’s my open-ended offer: For a little while now, there has been a Parts Guy Facebook page (facebook.com/BangShiftUPCG). Like the page. Message me stories, and I’ll run them anonymously, either blank as the Parts Guy or with whatever pseudonym you wish to use. I’ll pick and choose what gets put on BangShift, and I’ll open-end post on Facebook. You got pictures? Make sure that there isn’t a reference to your store and I’ll run it. You got stories? Bring it on, just know that there might be censoring if you really decide to vent (nothing bad, just names/locations for your job’s sake and for the typical language level.) Are you a mechanic and are staring at the biggest cluster in the history of automotive wrenching? We’re happy to look at (and cringe) right along with you!
Let’s hear the stories you’ve got. There’s a little Parts Guy in all of us…let them speak!
(And will someone cut me off of this damn dolly? It’s getting hot out here. Guys..?)
Wha? It was YOU the WHOLE time?!?!?!? Just promise us no more pictures of you with an open buttoned shirt =D
They were great stories for sure.
Hey, I’m hitting the gym, ok?
Whoa, let’s back up this crazy train a bit.
You’re leaving a pay check-earning 8-5, 5-6 days a week, regular job to pen a [so far weekly] column for BS, shoot event photography, and to maintain your Facebook page?
You musta cut hell of a deal with Brian and Chad.
I’m sensing a whiff of male bovine excrement, here…
‘Best wishes for you, Bryan!
Oops, I neglected to mention you have been doing some informative vehicle features!
Yeah, we’d pretty much print a giant lie.
Bryan is our first full time staffer.
Yeah, but they pretty much label all of ’em . . . Chevy LESS. 🙂
I will say it’s impressive to parlay a greasy counterman’s gig into a real automotive journo job. Good show!
I did have some mild concern that the perpetually-raging Parts Counter Guy was going to pop that bag right off his exploding head with a debilitating aneurysm.
Nah…nothing a good burnout in the back lot couldn’t fix.
Good luck in your new job Bryan and Chad are Great Guys I met them at Salem Speedway a few yrs back
Congrats.Cant believe it was you all this time. LOL.Any BSers get the chance to meet up with Bryan you wont regret it.Unless you go to Hooters and his brother shows up. LMAO!
Thinking the deal must have included some Oreos….
Guaranteed Ron.
I enjoy your smart ass based humor. Keep that up in your writing. Funny is memorable.
I’ve really enjoyed your writing; you have real skill and I hope this is an opportunity to develop it further.
My wife and I are both avid readers. Sometimes one of us will come across something that’s so good we have to share. I’ve read part or all of several of your columns to her.
I hope this is the start of something great for you. You deserve it.
I had a feeling that something was going on with the Unknown Parts Guy after not seeing it on occasion. I wish you well with your job at Bangshift, and shouldn’t you be wearing a Hannibal Lector mask while strapped to the hand cart?
I tried like hell to find one!
Wait, WTF! I’m a parts guy who likes writing and building stuff! Why couldn’t it be meeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Congrats and good luck on the job “Bryan,” if that is your REAL NAME!!!
Bryan, Remy, UPCG…I’ve got more names than a loose college co-ed.
OOooohhhhh …..myyyyyyy ….. ” TWO Brains ” What will we do ??? ….
Please ….. tell us , of the two …… which is the ” Conscious ” & which is the ” Sub – conscious ” or the ” Un – conscious ” if you will …..
Good luck in your new endeavour Bryan ….
Welcome to the ” asylum “
AWWWWWWWWW dang it I’m gonna miss yer altered ego.