For most people, the only difference between a roto-tiller and a lawnmower is the amount of damage they can inflict on the land. The experience is pretty much the same otherwise: run over the area you wish to alter, pray you don’t hit a rock, and go as far down as you wish. As far as excitement goes…you can do a lot better than that. And in Emerson, Arkansas, they do. Ever since 1990, the PurpleHull Pea Festival has been famous not for peas, but for tiller racing. Yes…tiller racing. Souped up, hot rodded roto-tillers on a 200-foot dirt course, drag racing. To see it is to believe it, though we highly doubt that even once we saw an alcohol-fueled Troy-built we’d believe it. It might look like something you’d find the farmer’s kids doing behind the barn when they think nobody is looking, but the competitors are serious about the racing…there are even rules!
1. Rule #1 First and foremost always is SAFETY. Any tiller or tiller racer that is determined unsafe will be disqualified, and will not be allowed to race. (Glad to see a shred of sanity here, but keep reading…)
2. Racers must sign release forms before race. (Like that’s going to matter. I don’t care who’s insurance company is getting the report, some agent is about to spit-take hot coffee…)
3. All racers must wear shoes. (Apparently, before 1993, this was actually an issue. See above.)
4. There will be no riding of tillers. (Nope…doesn’t matter if you have an alcohol-burning Harley motor on your Snapper, your skinny hide is running behind it. Good luck, sucker!)
5. Racer must be in control when finish line is crossed. (…um, question: How often is this a problem? And what happens to the out-of-control tiller?! That’s the kind of disaster that makes international headlines!)
6. A three second penalty will be accessed if tiller strikes barriers between lines. (That beats drag racing in one aspect!)
7. Only essential personnel are allowed in pit area. That is the owner and racer only. (Imagine someone’s kid in the pits. “Oh, the humanity…”)
8. In case of a tie, a run off will take place. (Not what I imagined when I thought of “Sudden Death, Tiller-Style.”)
9. One Tiller- Per Racer- Per Category. If you have more than one tiller in a category, you must have a registered racer for each tiller. In the event a racer cannot continue to race you may assign a new racer for that tiller, but they must have a release form signed. (Yes, there is an owner-racer setup for some of these things. Jack Roush must be jealous.)
10. All races started will be considered official unless both racers are unable to complete race. In this case a re-run of that race will occur. (“And for the fourth time, Jimmy and Junior are gonna line it up…)
But at the end of the day, look at the bright side: maybe holding onto the handles of a psychotic gardening tool and running to spare yourself road rash is doing wonders for your health. Or you could just rag doll behind the tiller once you lose your footing…friction is one way to lose those pesky pounds, you know!
