I want you to think back to your childhood for a moment. I don’t care how old you are and how far back in time that actually goes, but just think back. Remember the first time you were taken to the car dealership? The first time you saw row after row of shiny, brand-new vehicles that smelled brand-new, and not like stale French fries, decaying seat foam and whatever unholy accident happened in the back? Remember how the showroom seemed clean, sparkling even, and everybody who worked there was friendly and knowledgable? Does that sound like the image of the first time you went to the dealership as a child? Being honest, that’s exactly how I remember my first time. Polished floors, clean restrooms, free water from one of those fancy water dispensers with the glug-glug-glug bottles on the top. That was high living, right?
Okay…return back to adulthood, and ask yourself one question: “How f’ing blind was I as a child?!”
Dealerships, today is your day. The land of the sniping salesman who is already asking about your family like they actually give a damn before you have removed yourself from your car. The sales manager that seems to be working the computer that is directly connected to the CIA file on you and everybody you showed up with, seeing if you are worthy of touching, let alone test-driving that brand-new 2019 Curb Basher FXL sport-utility. The receptionist whose facial expression wouldn’t change a bit if you were naked, on fire, or actively clubbing a baby seal in front of her. Yep, dealerships, today is your day, mainly because I’ve seen waaaaay too much of you lately and I’ve seen too much to ignore.
Where do I begin? I don’t want to pick on the salespeople too much, because that’s just low-hanging fruit. And the receptionist I don’t blame for being bored…they aren’t there to care about the cars, they are the human form of a traffic light crossed with the telephone operator. I’d have a blank, unimpressed look too, if I was in their shoes. And when it comes to the people working sales, I almost want to feel sorry for them. Paid on commission, trying to be everyone’s friend in the name of making a sale…it takes a special breed to work that job. One that scares me, honestly. You hear about postal workers losing their mental, but what happens when the salesperson at the dealership breaks down? Actually, I can answer that one: they commit career suicide by making a stupid “funny” video with racist tones that winds up on Facebook for the whole world to see. Or something like that.
So, what is the worst part of the dealership? The service advisors. When I have to teach the service advisors about recalls, it’s bad. When I have to teach service advisors what NHTSA is and why knowing what NHTSA and vehicle recalls have in common, that’s worse. And when I have to actually show where, in the service manual, the task is for the job at hand for a vehicle less than ten years old is, then it’s time to do the rest of the dealership a favor by making a dunce cap for the service advisor, then forcing him to walk up and down the hallways of the main dealership while walking behind him, ringing a bell and yelling, “SHAME!” after each ring. The customer expects the service advisor to be the expert, the one person in the dealership who needs to know what is going on and how things work. So put the hat on and start walking, donut-muncher, and don’t stop until everybody is crying out “SHAME!” If you don’t know anything about the vehicles your mechanics are working on, get out from behind the desk and take over from the car-wash and detail guy.
Now, here’s a serious question: have you found that dealing with a “buy here, pay here” dealership lot and a used car is a better experience than going to a new car dealership and their service bay? What the hell happened in that mix? How did the pretty showroom and the suits fail you so badly that buying a ten-year-old Grand Marquis from a small car lot near Harbor Freight and Taco Bell managed to be THAT MUCH BETTER? Is it because they’ve known the vehicle since they got it at the auction, or have been underhood since it was traded in and know the faults well?
Polished showrooms. The water dispenser. You bastards lied to me…you lied to everyone!
No one likes going in there. It feels like you are going to get violated no matter what. It’s an unpleasant experience considering the amount of money you have to part with.
carvana, they deliver it to your driveway.
I was somewhat surprised to find that the local BMW dealership wasn’t snooty at their service department – they didn’t act judgmental when I showed up with a 328 that was old enough to buy cigarettes and asked them to just do an alignment and no, I didn’t want the air bag light issue looked at.
Some buy here, pay here lots are even worse than new car stealerships, but I have seen some others where the guy behind the desk just says, “OK, I’ll need to make a copy of your driver’s license, and you can just take that ____ for a test drive,” with no obnoxious high pressure salescritter who is long on talk and short on knowledge riding shotgun. If I ran a dealership, that’s how it would be – no sales team, no finance department, just check in to get a key for a test drive and then if you like the car, we’ll ring you up at the cashier. I’m not sure how such a dealership would actually make money, but the reduced staffing needs ought to help.
The real problem is that the service \”adviser\” works on commission. When my 85 year old Mom received a notice from the local Mercedes dealership here in Houston to bring in her car for the first service, she had less than 6000 miles on the car. Incredibly, the \”adviser\” stated the car needed new brakes, front and rear, an all wheel alignment and new shocks. They hit her up for over 4 grand. She had the work done because the \”adviser\” recommended that it be done. Of course they were parts \”not covered\” under warranty. And I doubt if any of the work was actually done. Needless to say that I now handle what and where the car is maintained. (she did not tell me about it, i found a receipt several months later)
I’ve bought 1 new car in my life. The main reason I buy used is the huge depreciation on new cars. Also, the only offerings they have that interest me would be a muscle car or truck. If I’m sinking 30-40K into a muscle car, I’d rather buy something old. My truck is a second vehicle and I’m not going to have 30-40K tied up in that. I do 90-95 percent of the work required for my cars so that eliminates most trips to the service area. That, and their hourly rate.
I bought one new car in my life a 1973 Mustang . I’m 65
My now wife bought two – 1983 Datsun pickup , 1987 Sentra
I ordered the Mustang w/what I wanted – the pickup has no extras
I put a rear bumper on it , a radio/cassette player and had it under coated
and rust proofed – Still rotted out in 60 K miles – I did stick the motor in another one
The Sentra we also installed after market radio in .
Sales guy could not understand why ….
Went to high school with the now owner of the local dealer ..
you should have heard my rant on what 2 chipped keys cost for a Pt cruiser!
The burnt outs leaving school in a 70 Judge off the lot kind of makes up for that
Service advisers, from my experience are ignorant misinformed dumbasses.. After Ford bought back my 2014 F150 because of lying assed incompetent service folks, my Wife decided it was time to buy something else. She bought a new Honda CRV in 2017. Her battery died a few months after delivery and the service adviser told her it was because she had her cell phone plugged in while the vehicle was shut off..I thought the Honda dealer would be a step above. Hardly…
That\’s funny because every Honda I know the power socket is only live when the key is in accessory or on positions. But….I could be wrong. I haven\’t been around any newer Honda\’s.
I work in a dealership in the service dept.The changes I have seen in 30 years. I am the old man fix it guy, the only one that can get a finished product out with a happy customer with no comebacks. They are all commission whores selling services to the customer and poring the fluids in the drain barrel and not in the car or truck.I have seen them use impact guns to tighten head bolts,main caps,rod bolts, I have seen them put engines together and not check the clearances, they dont know how to measure anything,some wont turn over and others blow apart.They all went to these trade schools and dont know shit! It takes 4-5 of them to install a motor and I do it by myself with two replaced knees and a fused back.I am disgusted at what I see going on and the customer getting ripped off. It is not just where I work but its all over in other dealerships.There are a few good mechanics out there but it has gotten bad! Management when I complain just says they are just trying to make a living. I am glad I am retiring soon and I tell you to do it yourself and save your money and not get ripped off.
given that the career path for an auto advisor starts with flipping burgers, getting moved to the front counter, from there they go to the local auto parts chain, and then they get hooked on drugs, so to support that habit – they go to work as a commission-based service writer. Once they get fed up with that they go work the back office at a car dealership that has executive in the name, or failing that, as a fluffer.
If a buy here pay here lot ever treats people better than my staff does, then I will fire everyone.