You’d honestly be amazed at how many people think that working on cars is first-grade simple. It isn’t, and anyone that is stupid enough to ignore that thought is stupid enough to keep paying for more parts. It doesn’t matter what kind of advice you have to offer, or what your experience level is…this is the customer who is as thick as a brick and is about as hard of hearing. Though, this particular individual did mention that he would rather enjoy root canals without anesthesia than be the warranty guy at his place…I wonder what kind of stories come from that corner of the building.

In the 30 years I been wrenching on my hot rods, not once have I had a simple bolt-on. This was learned during my very first modification of my muscle car. That was only changing my 350’s iron intake manifold to an aluminum four barrel intake. Vacuum and heater hose fittings didn’t fit right and required trips to the parts store. The throttle linkage didn’t fit the new four barrel carb. What I thought would be an afternoon turned into a weekend. My job now is helping people who buy performance parts from our company, get in their car and get it running. That includes holding my tongue when I want to call these people weenies. Where did it say that our products, or any performance company’s products, that it will fit easy-peasy? Check out any company’s website. Nowhere on them does it say, “This will bolt on any car you own! No problems!” Having to listen to customers whine how their power steering pump doesn’t bolt on like it did anymore makes me want to reach over the counter to tell them to grow a pair. Hot rodding isn’t for sniveling pantywaists. Maybe you should keep your weenie car stock. After thirty years of playing with old cars I have learned a few laws to hot rodding:

Rule # 1: Nothing is bolt on. Absolutely freakin’ nothing. I don’t care if you are replacing one part with another part from the same company. I don’t care how much it costs. Or how shiny it is. Count on having to modify something.

Rule #2: Replacing one part will absolutely require you modify or buy at least two more parts in order for it work. Count on it. Plan for it. And, budget for it.

Rule # 3: If you can’t handle rules 1 and 2, keep your car stock. Or, better yet. Hire a professional to build your car. You are the lawn sitting, billet polishing, car duster wiping hot rodder. Spend your time memorizing the specs of the parts someone else installed for you because you are not up to the task of what our hot rodding fore fathers did without call centers, internet forums, and tech advisors there to help them. They bucked up, put on their big boy pants, and figured this shit out on their own without crying about it.