It’s official: filling up Angry Grandpa has crested over $50 a tank again. Joy. Not that it’s a surprise…the big gold brick feeds exclusively on 93 octane, so it’s going to hit the wallet. And I’m already hearing the beat of a familiar drum: “Gas is getting expensive, time to get smaller cars, time to panic, OMG”. Yeah, not much really changed when gas went stupid around 2012, did it? Look at every knee-jerk reaction vehicle sold: Mazda 2, Chevrolet City Express, Dodge Dart, Ford Fiesta. I don’t need to tell you that until you’re paying $10 per gallon, that small cars aren’t going to work in the United States, do I?
Look…if fuel economy is all you are concerned about, go hunt down a ten-year-old Toyota Corolla or similarly-sized vehicle and be done with it. If that sounds like a fate worse than death, I have a different option for you: spend your money on the vehicle acquisition first and instead of dumping cash down the drain on the car note, you can put it into the tank. Look older…one of the better things about older vehicles is that they tend to be lighter yet bigger than newer vehicles. Take this 1988 Pontiac Safari, for example…good GM B-body bones, plenty of room for passengers or cargo, and apparently well preserved for a thirty-year-old sled. It’s weight is comparable to a late-model Charger, but it’s size is a step above at least. 
And so is the engine. There’s no Chevy 305 or Olds 307 under that hood…no…there is 455 cubic inches of Oldsmobile V8 that has been under that hood since 2002. Looking in the engine bay, it is very difficult to tell, but luckily there’s all of the paperwork to point out for proof that it’s been installed. It’ll burn the tires at the drop of the hammer, or it’ll effortlessly gain speed thanks to a fat torque band, whatever your pleasure, all while looking just as it did when it left the dealership lot.
Or you can have the Corolla. Up to you.
Craigslist Link: 1989 Pontiac Safari
What’s with you guys? – every wagon you feature comes with hideous fake wood and flat green or babyshit brown paintwork!
They must be like that, it’s state law.
Probably a nostalgia factor for American readers who grew up with a similar station wagon from the ’70s or ’80s. They weren’t all that way, though – the Datsun 210 wagon my family had when I was growing up escaped the faux-wood treatment.
I had one. 1989 Pontiac Safari dark purple with wood sides. Under the hood, a slug of a 307. But with the flip of the air cleaner lid, it sounded slightly bigger.
The first thing I thought of when I saw it was Riggs and Murtagh.
“This was a brand new car!”
“It still is…”
i unfortunately broke my golden all v8 mopar and 4 cylinder only in a motorcycle rule, when my wife started working 30 miles awayfrom home… the hemi Magnum wagon can only muster around 14 mpg of combined driving (440s, 360s and warmed over 318s are out of the question here), i could only take her on my 1200 kawasaki screamer every so often, soo i bought a second (8th?) car.. a corolla in disguise! that damn little Celica gets about the same mileage as my bike, was previously well taken care of with some mild suspension and engine tuning, an almost fun 180hp motor and six speed box, and a happy wife that says it reminds her of the 200sx she had way back when…
im not ashamed to admit i grab the keys every now and then and take it for a spin and not miss my old big block Charger´s torque while redlining that POS at 8500rpm…
MOPAR OR NO CAR (?)