(Editor’s note: This is a re-run but here at BS eastern world HQ, we needed a laugh on a rainy and depressing Saturday. Sure it is at the expense of a guy getting hit in the junk but sometimes comedy hurts!) Hey, America’s Funniest Home Videos has been making a living on people getting whacked in the croakies for 23-years. Why can’t we bring you some of the same quality entertainment in gearhead fashion right here at BangShift?! Anyway, imagine you are a race fan attending the 2013 Estonia Rally. You trudge out into the woods for a prime spot at a bend in a gravel road, put on your comfiest sweatpants, don a flattering orange vest and get a primo viewing spot. In fact, you’re the only guy standing anywhere near this spot, so you know that it must be super good and all of these other people are foolish rookies.
The only miscalculation you made is that the road the cars are flying down is made of jagged pebbles and larger stones. Those things become boss projectiles when they are fired out at his speed from under the wheels of a hard accelerating rally car, like the little breadbox that comes wailing through the corner you’re standing on. Your heart swells as the car comes careening toward you. Your breath quickens as you watch the driver artfully slide it upon entry. Your ears ring when the throttle pedal touches the floorboard and the car begins to road off. Then your nards feel like Mike Tyson just landed a left hook on them as the race car drives off into the distance. Those around you snicker and giggle as you assume the fetal position that anyone who has ever played contact sports without a cup can understand. After several seconds of that horrible feeling that only guys can really relate to, race officials in their snappy lime green vests kind of shuffle over smiling and laughing to make sure you’re still alive.
Damn you Estonia Rally, you fickle mistress. Damn you to hell!
PRESS PLAY TO WATCH A DUDE TAKE A SERIOUS CROTCH SHOT FROM A SPEEDING RALLY CAR –