We’ve lost our minds, right? An ad for a 1977 Mack R Model Manure truck?! In this case it isn’t the rolling tank of black that caught our eye but rather the content of the ad that is trying to convince you to buy it. BangShifter Brad Berglund discovered this listing on Craigslist and he had to forward it onto us because of the fact that it is one of the funniest and most well crafted CL ads we have ever seen.
Between the jokes about what the trucks hauls, the wisecracks about the mechanicals involved, and the general tone of the whole thing this is pure genius. Sure the writer could have taken the serious tone of the normal ad but he didn’t and the results are actually a listing for a giant crud tank that actually has you entertained and reading on. We were kind of sad when we got to the end to be honest.
This guy is definitely a geared judging by the jokes about the truck and about stuff like Cummins and Duramax trucks. He totally gets it and that is what makes this in the end. Rather than drone on we’re just going to tell you to read this ad. It is awesome!
IN THE EVENT THE AD GETS PULLED HERE IS THE TEXT:
Wanna haul $hit? Forget the kids and thier Duramaxs, this ain’t no Cummins, and she SURE isn’t strokin! This is one bad a$$ MACK ATTACK! Thats right boys and girls, 6 turbo charged slappin pistons making 300 horse! And that’s without chips, tuning, or fart can mufflers – just 300 ponies rollin coal! And all that torque gets distributed to the ground via not 1, not 3, but 5 speeds in the transmission! (I’m not even going to tell you about reverse…..that’ll be a bonus gear you can discover later!) How do they fit all those gears in there! Who cares, if you wanna move poop – this is your girl! Camel back suspension make the ride the best you’ll have since prom night! As of this moment, this 1977 time capsule has 560,237 miles – but I warn you, those miles will go up! In fact, I guarantee they won’t go down!
While your hauling that brown gold you will ride in dependable style! We loved this girl SOOO much we completely serviced her – bumper to where the poo comes out! Cold? She’s got a heater. Hot? She’s got window cranks! Bored? She’s got a premium deluxe AM radio with optional off switch! Scared? She’s got brakes that will impress any tailgater! Unfortunatly, the only option this girl is lacking is rust – well at least the frame rails and tank! The body comes pre-rusted so you don’t have to wait!
The best part, once you fill this girl with that sweet smelling slurry in the 3300 gallon tank, there NO need to unload it by hand. Thats right, no buckets, no waiting on unreliable gravity, this machine has a PTO that not only unloads it for you via a flick of a switch, it will distribute it gracefully and evenly across your land. Sound to nice? It gets better! If you prefer a less sweet and sensitive application, she has a mean side that will rip into the ground and bury that pesky poo for you. Billy Maze never even sold a product this versatile and fun!
Why should I buy this you ask? Well why SHOULDN’T you buy this I ask! Airplanes sell for $300k – and all they do if move through the air. A brand new Corvette sells for $70k – sure its got two seats as well, but this girl has 745 times the trunk space! Plus, think of how many MORE looks you’ll get with this whip! For 1/25th the price of a boring plane, YOU could be the loving owner of this nostalgic piece of history!
HIT THE THE LINK BELOW THE PHOTOS TO SEE THE FULL SPREAD –
I am currently negotiating the purchase of this beauty and have arranged shipping to Newcastle upon Tyne, England, where it will be painted with black and white stripes and driven to the Stadium of Shite in Sunderland where I shall discharge its cargo all over the sad Makem scum with the Blaydon Races blasting from an humongous stereo shortly before the Wear/Tyne derby in October!
For the information of my American cousins – There is intense rivalry between the soccer teams of the two cities, Makems is a name for people that live in Sunderland and the Blaydon Races is the anthem of Newcastle.
Gosh Geordie, I thought would’ve sent it to LS Fest.
No, mate – I hate Sunderland even worse than Chevys!
The vehicle of choice for the Democratic aka Socialist party.
The vehicle of the American government….
75 Duster.. Your breakfast shake is on the way, being shook up as it rolls your way. Slurp on, moron.