Before we get started some clarification is needed. Somewhere I think I said no trades. And yet… People keep offering me trades. Why? It implies that somehow our most basic education systems are failing. “No fishing” means, “no fishing”. Somehow “no trades” on Craigslist equates to “would you take a Harley Davidson sportsmoglide special and my grandmother’s Elvis Presley 8 tracks in trade?” Anyway, no trades, no butts, no coconuts, no anchovies, no bare feet. Cash is king. What else. Oh yeah, offers are great but get out and look at it first. Somebody offered me $6k sight unseen. I think it’s got it where it counts kid so I’m not going w/ low offers. High offers are awesome though so don’t cheap out on me people. On with the show.

Do your still have your refund check? For cryin’ out loud reinvest in your local economy! And by “local economy” I of course mean “me”. You could buy another sled (how’s that workin’ out), a boat (4 months out of the year and reeking of dead fish = yawn), an ATV, a low grade Rolex or that engagement ring that your long suffering and much deserving would-be spouse so desires but you fear commitment and the very sizable hole in your bank account that comes with it.

I say you should test that relationship early. Don’t buy the ring, buy a 30 year old CJ7 that gets 10 miles per gallon with a manual transmission. If your relationship is strong enough for that sort of questionable purchase than it will easily survive the other tough relationship questions like buying a house, having kids and what color to paint the family room. It is time to liberate some of your hard earned cash and make a questionable, impractical life choice that will strengthen your relationship. Sure, you can buy a rust free 10 year old Accord from Nevada and put another 200,000 trouble free miles on it but what modern day woman wants that? They want a reckless, carefree rugged individual that has a vehicle that can ford a river, storm an embassy and twitch a skidder out of the woods all by 9 AM.

What you want, what you need, is a Jeep. Not a new one that’s reliable and was designed in the last 5 years using finite element analysis and strict adherence to modern offset crash and rollover standards. *yawn* You’d never find it in the parking lot with all of the other ones anyway. You want one that has style, personality and has a commuting status that’s more akin to accepting a dare than it is an assured transit experience. My friend, do I have a scorchin’ hot deal for you. Read on if you think you’re daring enough.

What we have here is a 1986 Jeep CJ7 in good condition. 1986 was the last year of the mighty CJ series. This one has better axles as a result (Dana 44 / Dana 30) and is wider than the earlier CJs. The CJ7 is longer than the CJ5 and is less prone to putting itself on its roof. The CJ7 is the precursor to the rectangular headlight YJ Wrangler which was so widely derided in the Jeeping community that people didn’t even Jeep-wave to it for years. After 10 years of rectangular humility the folks at Jeep reconciled with the TJ and its “as God intended” round headlights in 1997. Anyway, chicks dig scars, not rectangles.

Engine: Chevy 305 V8 (aka 5 liter for you Canadians and closet metric enthusiasts), ram horn exhaust manifolds, true dual custom exhaust. Manual 5 speed transmission (T5). I had you at “ram horn” right? Thought so.

New stuff: AC Delco distributor, plugs, Edelbrock 1406 carburetor, Deka 800 CCA battery, upgraded steering (heavy duty pump, gearbox, steering shaft, new Moog knuckles) and heavy duty hydraulic brakes (Vanco PowerBoost). New rear drum brakes and new rear axle seals. This is all super expensive by the way.

Soft Bestop, bikini top, soft doors, BF Goodrich Mud Terrain on 15″ wheels, 12.5″ wide. Tread is about 70%. Has a spare and a tire carrier but I don’t normally keep them on because only ninnies need spare tires.

Warn M8000 winch works fine. Not that you’d get stuck in the first place but if you wanted to tow out other chumps you would be able to do that no problem.

Mileage may be 169k; not sure if has gone beyond 100k. I find it hard to believe anyone would want to drive that far in this rig but I suppose before it was injected with the automotive equivalent of human growth hormones that it was a supple boulevard cruiser with a penchant for hundreds of miles of easy driving. Now, if you run it at 65 with no roof and no doors your skull starts to vibrate from the inside out and it becomes hard to both see and hear and you could involuntarily wet your britches. Not that you give two craps because it’s a Jeep and it’s freakin’ awesome and the rushing air and punishing sunlight will rapidly dry your soiled trousers.

No stories, undercoated, normal frame repairs. Not off-roaded (4WD works fine in high and low range), no smoke, very clean. Rarely operated in the rain (top is off apart from storage), stored in the garage in the winter. Has a lot of lift. 4″. 6″? I don’t know. I’m not shrimpy and I have to use the nerf bars to get into it.

Would take an inspection sticker but is registered as an antique. All lights, brakes work and I have our garage inspect it once a year to make sure I won’t careen into an oncoming Freightliner or wipe out a bus full of nuns.

Everything works except for the fuel gauge and windshield washers. I know, it’s stupid to not fix the fuel gauge. I just have range anxiety and fill it all the time. And I keep a 2 gallon can in the way back just in case. Wipers work but the squirt bottles and pump seem to have been removed for weight savings. Who the hell knows.

Why am I selling this if it doesn’t suck? What’s the catch man? There’s always a catch! Well here’s the thing, I’m a married guy and to stay that way “something” has to go. I took that to mean that it was either me or the CJ. After doing a lot of research I concluded that the least cost option was to help someone else get the full CJ experience and I wouldn’t have to live in a van down by the river with two cats and a restraining order. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And if you do live in a van by the river then having a CJ as a commuter wouldn’t really be a bad thing since you wouldn’t have to drive your domicile to work.

So, if you want to check out a great Jeep with a no BS sales job come by. I’ll tell you all of the reasons why you shouldn’t buy any CJ, what I found wrong with mine, what I’ve fixed, about what that cost and then let you decide if you should drive this beast home. If you don’t want to drive it this time of year I can trailer it for you for an additional fee. I don’t drive it this time of year because I think an infinitesimally small amount of salt on 30 year old steel would cause an instantaneous supernova of steel corrosion that could rip a ginormous hole in the space time continuum and that would pretty much suck on a galactic level. So I just leave it inside and count the days to spring. I won’t even eat a potato chip near that thing. Not takin’ any chances bub.

No trades. In God we trust, everybody else pays cash. No trades. Or barters, swaps, dickerin’. But definitely no trades. Unless it’s an M1A2 Abrams main battle tank because that would be friggin’ sweet. Otherwise, no trades. None. Zero.

Thank you for your interest.