Good morning, readers. I hope you are having a great day. As I’m typing this, I’m not. Here’s why: in a few hours, when I wake up in the morning, I get to experience the wonder and horror that is Nashville morning rush traffic. I don’t have a choice in this matter, the appointment I have to meet is too important to bypass or shift. But I’m steeling myself up for battle, as I’ve done many a time over many a year. I hate rush hour traffic. I hate having to drive like a getaway driver on the run from the cops just to not get run over by a Peterbilt, or even worse, having to stay on the brake because the car’s torque alone is moving the car faster than the average speed of others.
Now, before you start in, no…Nashville traffic isn’t the worst I’ve ever experienced. I’ve driven on the 101 in Los Angeles with a Dodge Ram towing a Dodge Diplomat on a rented trailer. That sucked. I’ve been stuck in five p.m. Dallas traffic for hours. I’ve been in the “tunnel crawl” after leaving Norfolk, Virgina, Denver madness (and it’s more recent form, Rocky Mountain Rage Inducer courtesy of Colorado Springs gridlock), hours in Phoenix, and elsewhere. But for me…oh, there is no replacement for the Seattle Metro. Interstate 5 and Interstate 405 combined with Interstate 90 at the right hour of the day equate a grinding, slow drag that can suck the life out of anyone. Or, for me, it tried to suck the life out of my car.
In 2012, I was doing an internship up in the Puget Sound region and had just gotten my 1981 Dodge Mirada, complete with “rebuilt” engine, back into my possession. Yes, the car looked horrible and compared to everything in the parking lot, like trash, but the engine was fresh and I loved bombing around my old haunts with my cheap beater. I would commute from the North Sound to Tacoma all the time with no problem. But one afternoon…I screwed up badly. I stayed about a half-hour later than normal and for my good deeds, got stuck in gridlock heading to the condo I split with three other interns. Unbeknownst to me, the clutch fan failed. And as I crept along at four miles an hour, the engine temp crept up into territories no small-block Mopar can tolerate…and that’s saying something. I was trying to get off at the first exit, any exit whatsoever, but it was no use…I wound up being the guy stuck in the middle of the road as the cooling system puked. Awesome, right? Nothing helps traffic anger like other motorists hurling abuse as your car blocks their travel path.
There’s my story…now, how about you? Help me feel a tiny bit better about my task at hand…
My most hellish traffic jam story (to the readership at least} is the fact that I NEVER had to endure traffic jams! That’s because when I worked as a gardener/grounds keeper my start and finish times were too early for rush hour and at weekends I drove and rode country roads out of pleasure so never encountered them.
Being stuck in a traffic jam 3 miles from the Throggs Neck Bridge (going towards L.I.) on July 4th weekend at 2:00 PM in my 1967 427/390 HP Corvette Coupe which had a really heavy clutch. It took 2 hours to cover the 3 miles. As I finally pulled up to the toll collector my left leg went into a spasm and I couldn’t stop it from shaking long enough to press down on the clutch. Two policemen had to stop traffic and push me while I was in the car onto the apron where I sat for a good 30 minutes before my left leg stopped shaking and I could press down on the clutch.
a few years back,here in seattle,we had a snow/ice storm—we really don’t get much snow in the puget sound area,and when we do,people go into idiot mode real quick. i had my old 66 elky,and it was a little prone to overheating if you went too slow. i lived about 15 miles from where i worked,and i literally could have walked home faster.it was bumper to bumper the entire way,there was no way to get enough airflow to the radiator,i was starving,and generally having a horrible time.once i managed to get to a side road,i had no difficulty getting through what snow there was,but,bottom line,it took me about 6 hours to get home.
Try crossing the I-10 Bridge from the west into Baton Rouge, LA any time, any day of the week but most especially in the afternoon from 2 to 7p. We travel w/2500/3500 trucks with trailers and this is our worst nightmare.
Leaving 4 hours early for Thanksgiving dinner, giving up 7 hours later after traveling 100 of the 180 miles – all because Walmart decided to open on Thanksgiving day.
When the locals heard their cattle down our two lanes. Yes it happens.
While waiting in my Ranger, with a trailer in tow, to go through the Lincoln tunnel in NY. shitty, I was rear ended by a Prius taxi. Figured he was playing tag, so I pulled ahead 10 feet, put it in reverse, dumped the clutch & now he was it. Disappointed the bumper cover was still intact, I gave him a second hit. Mangled the license plate, but bumper cover still in place. As I was going for #3, & wifey said,” I think that’s enough, what are you going to do?” I said watch. So I get out of the Ranger holding my neck & start screaming at said taxi driver, & he replies,” It’s ok’ it’s ok, go ahead, go ahead. So off we go with no damage to my trailer, & Mr. taxi stayed far back, along with everyone else.
Trip from Selden, LI to Toms River, NJ (for work) on a Friday afternoon. Left Selden at 4:15. 2 LIE accidents, BQE construction, painting on the Verrazano. Gote home at 12:45. Somewhere in the Bronx, I decided to move. 1 month later, I moved to Colorado. Now I bitch about 15 minute traffic “jams.”
Sitting on the George Washington Bridge in a traffic jam because there was a jumper that climbed to the top of the bridge and threatened to jump. Do you people know how much that bridge moves up and down and side to side when you are sitting on it ? It moves a LOT with a pucker factor of 10 !
Driving to Las Vegas in 110 temps in July the Nevada Hwy Patrol shut down the entire I-15 freeway for hours to try to catch one crook. I saw over ten miles of stopped cars, there were certainly more. People were running empty on fuel to keep their A/C going, literally dying out there in the desert. Law enforcement of-course didn’t find their guy, just caused un-told lost time and endangered thousands of other people with their self-importance and ineptitude.
L.A. traffic jams routine to me when I have to be there. Big waste of time.
In the latter years of living in Sacramento, CA, I was doing some work as an actor. Most of this required driving 80 miles to San Francisco, especially for auditions. One of my last was giving to me at 3 pm on a Friday. Any one who has ever lived near the bay area knows that getting into the city at the time is never a problem. Getting back out is the horror story.
I went in as early as I could and got out at exactly 3 pm. I jumped in the 65 Impala I had just bought and got running, hauled butt from the Battery and Embarcadero. I got within a block of 1st St onramp. The traffic just stopped there. One car every two light changes got across Harrison to get on the bridge to start their crawl across the bridge. It took an hour just to get on the bridge.
An hour later I was still moving a walking speed through Berkeley on I-80. While crawling along, I saw another driver having discussion with another driver about his tire going flat. I was moving so slow I momentarily entertained of watching this other driver pull over, get out and kick out his flat tire, then go back and start digging through his trunk for the spare.
The real anger of this traffic hit me five minutes later when this same man walked by me on the shoulder carrying his flat spare tire. It took 4 hours, 45 minutes to get back to Sacramento that night. If I had any sense at all, I would have stayed in SF for a nice dinner, wonder around Pier 39 for a while, then head home.
Parked all the way back in the BIR zoo in the mid 80s. Got stuck in a 3 hour traffic jam getting to the front gate. Now, while this bad enough, the lawlessness of the zoo back then made it fell like a mild version of a mad max movie. The zoo flipped over a Japanese car and started it on fire. Remember this is the mid 80s. This is the era when the zoo would drive non stop on the dirt roads creating a dust bowl around the track and the infamous underage stage show. Now this was bad, but a guy at the Phoenix race said that he was sitting on the pit side and stayed through the finals. He said to walk back to the spectator side parking, getting to the gate, and the reservation road maze to get to the freeway took 7 hours!
That first picture showing Seattle sums it up real good! Traffic sucks all the time here!!!
Any place where there is a high concentration of liberals, you will find everything mucked up.
In Chicago one time sitting in traffic so I jumped out and went to White Castle for some sliders while the other guys inched the car forward in traffic.
Bent
Snowmageddon Chicago 2011. Left work at 4:30 was driving home on Lake Shore Drive when a Huge snow storm hit coming off the lakefront. You couldn\’t see two feet out of the windshield. All of a sudden was just dead stop. Was stuck in the car til around 4 am when the Fire dept came and started taking people to shelters. All in all it was over 24 hours til I made it home and another two days for me to find the car.
Got a good one for ya. Like you, I’ve done Norfolk, the 405, and Dallas…but the absolute worst gridlock I’ve ever been in occurred on 11 August 2011. That was the day Washington D.C. and Eastern Virginia experienced an earthquake. I was jamming it up I-95 near Quantico when it hit. I never felt it. My only clue it happened was the news flash that came over the radio. All was well and good till I got near the Beltway. After the earthquake had hit, everyone was sent home. Imagine everyone who works in DC hitting the Beltway at the same time, with the occasional stop light not working because of said quake. A trip that normally took 3 hours took 8 instead….