If I have to choose between dealing with a dealership over the acquisition of a car and being sodomized with a cactus, I’m going to recommend the teddy bear cholla and ask that you don’t mind the words coming out of my mouth. I loathe dealerships with a passion. I love window-shopping them, I’m always appreciative when I find a tech who is old-school or super-knowledgable and hasn’t dropped to pure cynicism and caffeine, but when it comes to the car-buying part, the creative joke-writing side of me kicks into overdrive because gallows and dark humor do well to mask the pain. Why is the dealership experience akin hitting a Slip-n-Slide filled with chunks of glass and battery acid?
So, here’s the rundown: we’re at a lot looking at a potential trade that may or may not happen, we’re not committed or locked in on it at the moment. We have terms in mind, we have a trade ready, and I’ve even worked up the basic offer in my head that leaves some “meat on the bone” for the dealer where the incoming car is concerned. With a fleet of cars in the BangShift Mid-West lot (which far exceeds the two daily, two project rule we tried to establish back in 2015), we aren’t going to be wounded if we take a small hit to get the car we’re after. And we’re after it…Haley especially. She’s done her homework to scary levels. She knows the history of the car in question in, out, and backwards. She knows when it was first sold, where it’s been, everything. A former rental (or demo vehicle) from Hawai’i, our car now sits on a dealer lot near enough to BS Mid-West to drive to, but far enough away to make it a day trip, and after a test drive, we sat down to get to the brass tacks. We’ll skip over the frankly insulting offer for the trade, we’ll skip over the vibe we got from the people we dealt with that left both of us cold. That’s a discussion for another day. But this gem just couldn’t wait…when my wife asked about the car’s history in Hawai’i that showed up on the CarFax report, this was the reply:
“You can’t trust those CarFax things. How could that car get over here from Hawai’i? It doesn’t have a boat motor on it.”
If I wasn’t so bitter about being in a dealership in the first place I would’ve laughed right in the guy’s face. I’m not saying that CarFax is infallible, but we’ve got a hard copy of the report in our hands. And you’re going to insist that we’re wrong, that the report is wrong that much? The car might not have been a rental, but it was certainly in the sweet spot of the Pacific for a bit of time.
It might not be the ultimate gem (that winner goes to the finance officer at a Dodge dealership whose idea of de-fuzing a situation involving the attempted purchase of a Challenger, followed by the dealership asking for another few thousand dollars a week after I did the paperwork and made a down payment, was to tell me “Why don’t you just buy the V6 version? You can afford that one today!” after admitting that they didn’t know where my trade-in car was at) but still…salespeople can lay out some absolute gems. Got any from your history you’d like to share? Help me deal with the headache I have from this fun, please.
Comparing GMC and Chevy pickups is like comparing a Ford and a Dodge. They are completely different.
Built on the same line, the only difference is the badges.
That I needed a 60k four door pickup truck
In 1983, just when the T-Bird Turbo Coupe came out, my girlfriend and I stopped at this high volume dealer to take a peak. We were immediately accosted by one of the many salesmen roaming the lot. Looking at the car, and listening to his blather for about 5 minutes, I finally got the chance to ask a question: “can I get it with leather”? Knowing that was not an available option, the salesman replied, “Leather? What do you want leather for”? Then, turning to my completely bored girlfriend, he said “you know, they kill cows to get leather”.
J D Byryder told me they couldn’t sell me a car if I paid cash , and they only finance people with Bad Credit and mine was too good ! ” I’m sorry sir , you are on the wrong lot ! “
“Buy Here/Pay Here”, the business model is pushing cars and payments that people can’t afford, then re-possessing the car in a few months. Rinse, repeat. Yeah they didn’t want you.
After dealing w/ a sales-guy and sales-“manager” tag team for over an hour while they among other things tried (and tried) to pressure me into signing up for a loan when I was there to pay cash, I finally got so tired of the two clowns I announced I would be leaving the building to go over to the pub up the street and think about what I was doing there. They got up and literally physically blocked the door so that I couldn’t get out. I had to push my way through, making body contact with each of them. Since we wanted the car I’d be back, but never again. This at a Chrysler dealership in Poway CA; which would close in a couple years and I doubt anyone would miss them. I was neighbors with a mechanic there and one of their two-posts lifts wound up in my barn, didn’t seem to be any charge for it.
Shopping w/ a buddy for a used car, he –insisted– on something w/ original paint. So the salesman insisted in turn that the car we were looking at had that, when it was obvious to me it was a recent re-spray. Over and over we went about it, as if it even mattered w/ a 10-year-old Nissan which is what I told both of them as long as there’d been no major damage. Finally at the point where the arguing was about as hot as it was going to get, I reached under the fender and found and removed a chunk of masking tape and newspaper with the car color all over it. Salesman-guy stared for a moment, turned and retreated into the office without a word. A bit later when we decided OK we wanted the car anyway (without any sales help), I went in to fetch him for a test drive which he spent the first portion of explaining how bad his childhood was and that was what made him such a liar.
I might remark that we recently purchased a 2-year old car w/ my daughter at a Penske-branded dealer in the San Diego area, and it was a breeze, relatively speaking.
i retired from a penske dealer it was the only dealership that was absolutly no bs or you were gone just do your job and everyone is happy ( 50 yearss in the business)
I was helping my sister find a vehicle.
One of the dealerships we went to, they used the old “let me get my manager”
Anyways. During the conversation she was having with my sister, she sputtered. “Well, buying a car is an investment” I was dumbfounded.
Suffice it to say the conversation ended there and we left.
my mom bought a 96 impala ss new (she still has it) and asked the sales guy why the rear tire was so far forward in the fenderwell.(old frame/new body styling gaff from gm) the guy said with a straight face that “all chevys use an offset axle”… my mom pulled a cashiers check for $30k out of her purse, showed it to him and said “if youre going to lie to me im leaving, if you dont know then just say you dont know.” he admitted he didnt know and went and got us another sales ‘manager’.
My wife and I looked at a new Ford car in 1995 we had 94 S10 Blazer that was paid off to trade so they took the keys to look it over. They asked us where we wanted to be on the new car payments so we gave them a range when they came back they were almost 200 more that what we asked for I asked how they could be so high and they said they valued our loaded S10 at 1500-2000 trade in, it was 26K the year before new with 9000 miles. I told them no give me the keys back and we would leave, the salesman came back and said well here’s what we can do and they upped the offer to 2500, I again asked for my keys only to have the salesman return again with yet another offer that was when my wife asked to use his phone he said yes and she informed him that she was calling 911 to report them for holding us hostage. We had our keys in 10 seconds and left
Didn’t seem to be any charge for it???
If you mean me, every time I went to pay for the lift he said naw we’d worry about it later. For years. I eventually gathered that all their older lifts were given away, not sold. Lucky me I guess but weird, the car I bought is long gone but the lift is still good.
” The delay in the delivery of your vehicle is due to a railroad strike in California ” I called the L.A Times to confirm his story …. LIE . no such problem existed ,even if there was the railroads have emergency plans in place to circumvent these events & any other problems that may arise .
You simply go around it !
The delay in the delivery of your vehicle is due to a railroad strike in California . I called the L.A. Times to verify . No such problem existed . now that’s a ” whopper ” ! Railroads have contingency plans in place for just such events . We left , never went back & never will .
Was told recently that they couldn’t budge on sticker price of a new car because they aren’t making a profit on them and that they make their money on used car sales. Told the tool to get back in the toolbox that I’m not that stupid and left.
You want a good laugh? Get your used car appraised at CarMax, they invented the words (LOW BALL OFFERS)!
An obviously ill-informed sales “professional” approached me in a showroom while I waited for a girlfriend or whatnot to get her car out of the body shop. I was standing near a 1993 Mustang Cobra-R that was on the showroom floor, looking it over and thinking I could easily build this car out of a 1985 hatch shell I had. The sales guy started in with his pitch about how awesome the R was. I decided to play along and asked him what makes it so awesome.
He said that it was supercharged.
So I asked him to show me. He reached in the driver’s window, pulled the hood release, raised the hood, and there rested a good ol’ GT-40 intake manifold. He actually tried to convince me that it was a supercharger. I think he really believed it.
I left without embarrassing him.
Just yesterday 5/26 – bought a Nissan Pickup – in the money office doing paperwork the manger handed me a mileage etc form to sign for the trade in – It was for a car we traded a year ago -we had bought a Sentra last year
I told him that fact and he said Oh we’ll have to fix that !
1976 – a friend and I were looking at a used van , on the lot was a 73
Mustang fastback – nothing fancy – priced 3500 or so . I asked the salesman
why they were asking more than 500 over new cost on a three year old car
He told my buddy to tell me to get with reality
Don’t ask about the shit box G Cherokee I traded a rant for another day about used car dealers
I had a salesman want to fight me right there in the showroom because I wanted to price two different Ram trucks, a mega cab and a quad cab. He refused, screamed at me to make up my mind. When I told him we were “done here” he got up and threatened to kick my ass right there. I walked out and he followed me out screaming at me about making up my mind. I ignored him and left. Called the dealership the next day to discuss the situation with the boss and found out the salesman was family and they refused to even apologize. Called Dodge HQ and got the runaround about dealerships being independent. Needless to say I never have or never will spend a penny at landmark dodge in independence, mo.
ORDERED a 1990 Chevy 350 Sport truck (think SS454), President’s weekend. Told it would take 4 to 6 weeks. Took 11 weeks to arrive. Dealer told me he would need to deduct $ on my trade due to “unexpected excessive mileage” because new truck took so long to arrive. Demanded my deposit back, which they refused. After another 2 weeks of ignoring their phone calls, we came to terms for less then the original deal.
“It’s good to pay over MSRP!” – Salesman @ Lombard Ford, Winsted, CT
While looking at a black on black 1988 Mustang GT demo w/300 miles, being offered at $3,000 over sticker.
Car dealership in Kelowna BC Direct Trucks own the the Hyundai dealership. Ask to test drive and was told no I ll driver it by the sale manger. I came with cash to buy a car. I said as he turned away I guess you ll not even let me take to a mechanic. Fast forward 2 year , and lastl last week I see they change there tune . We deliver it for a test drive is on there website . So I called because again I saw a car I wanted. Only to be told the same thing by the sales manger. I Told him about 2 years ago and his response is Cool . I really dont care attitude that it cost me 7 grand. . Just rude gits. This time Called up the Hyundai dealership that owns them and spoke to one of the partners and he just repeat the same old shit . Trucks direct is a wholesale dealership . Whatever .
We had a terrible water leak in my wife’s Buick Enclave. Water running down the inside of the A pillar. Dealership told her all cars leak. Second dealer fixed under warranty ( totally new interior) when they noticed a recall on the sunroof. First never mentioned it.
“This car belonged to a little old lady that only drove it on Sundays and never got over 35 MPH.” The car was only 3 years old and had 120,000 miles on it.
Is this your ten dollars?
Not a dealership, but Jiffy Lube once told me that if i didnt have them change my cabin air filter, that my fuel injectors could get dirtier.
“That’s normal” when looking at a new Nissan pickup where the clutch pedal only seemed to do anything in the last centimeter of travel. Well, if all Nissan pickup clutches do that, I don’t want a Nissan pickup.
Saw a Camaro that had been on the lot over a year. Overpriced for an SS because of some dumb options. Offered them $30k which they refused. They argued with my contention that they’d never sell for more than that. Months later they finally unloaded it for $27,500.