From the parking lot cruise night to the race track and beyond, you can always find a car guy with an excuse as to why something isn’t going as planned. The dude who crap talks other people’s stuff at a car show and then gets pressed into admitting that he rolled in with his wife’s Camry because he “just sold his car” and the dude at the drags whose car is running about two seconds slower than he predicted because the “transmission is slipping”, have lots in common. Listen, we know stuff doesn’t always (or even often) follow the best laid plans we all make, but you know as well as we do that there are some guys who go right into excuse mode at any signal that they may look less than a hero or if they are completely full of donkey dung in the first place.
We want to hear some of the “best” (read: lamest) excuses you have heard at any automotive event, also we want to know how you react to them. Us? We’re more likely to give the guy a slight smile and knowing nod before moving on. There are other dudes who go into lawyer mode and basically argue the excuse-giver into submission. While that is entertaining to watch happen sometimes, we don’t have a lot of time for that kind of conflict at events we’re trying to have fun at. So, all that being said –
BangShift Question Of The Day: What Is The Lamest Automotive Excuse?
Beer
oh – and it’s MY Escape we rolled in with, not hers. I haven’t seen my balls since the first divorce.
Any excuse as to why your car is trailered and not driven!
“I can’t believe,” the street eliminator class driver in his Camaro says as he re-enters the pits, “I was beat by a Gremlin.”
(He wasn’t the first, and he won’t be the last to complain).
The most common, and pretty lame as well, excuse I recall from the driver of the losing car during my youthful ’60s street racing days is “the four barrel wasn’t kicking in”.
That dweeb who goes to car shows and puts down everyones cars. When pressed what car he brought to the show, he says his isn’t finished yet. We read it, “I drove my wife’s minvan.” Then he sits and names off how bad ass his car is going to be. Only, no one has ever seen this car.
Missed a shift. He means he shifts like my grandmother in her ’63 Valiant.
They didn’t prep the track correctly.
I’ve used, “I’ve got less tire and horsepower here than just about everyone but the Mini.” Then the Mini turns in a faster time than I. “DOH!”
Everyone who says they have a ten second car yet has no time slip to prove it. What they have is a plethora of lame excuses why they don’t make a pass. Most of them are afraid of just how slow the car will actually be.
Johnnyg, I bought a trailer after seeing so many struggle to figure out how they were going to get the broken street cars home from the racetrack. Now you say that is just an excuse? Insurance, now that I have a trailer I haven’t broke.
I was on “low-boost”…
The people next door are going swimming tomorrow. I use that for everything from racing to telephone solicitors. Hey if I don’t want to tell you any excuse will do.
We have all seen this – the guy that claims that his new engine is making 800 horsepower only to take it to the track and it runs like a wet sponge. Then makes all sorts of excuses. (cam retarded,not jetted correctly bla bla bla)
I usually ask then wether the 800 were Shetland ponies – you the little ones.LOL
I don’t have any stories like that the people ive dealt with are honest enough to say what the deal is. As for me I don’t have a wife or a caviler I have stuff for sale to get me into something better, most don’t want to pay the price or theyed rather rob ya. theres my story sink away if you will but hey some junk is better than other junk.
To the guy second in series points at the last race of the season – “Where’s your race car?”
Answer:
“I thought it was going to rain……”
Geez, my favorite is: I broke out because there was a pop can (soda can in U.S.) blowing around in the lights. Many years later I went thru the traps and there was a can seemingly blowing about randomly – I chuckled to myself about how often I had mocked that excuse ;-}
In Ohio, we still call them pop cans 🙂
the lamest one i heard was about 20 years ago, a guy in a 16 valve powered rabbit ( kinda exotic back then) wouldn’t race an 18r powered corolla because “the atmosferic presure wasn’t right”
“My glasses fogged up on the starting line and I couldn’t see the tree….” Really? If you can’t see the amber bulbs on a pro tree all light up at the same time – perhaps you shouldn’t be operating a motor vehicle of any type; much less one that’s powered by nitro. Just sayin’
the usual “my car runs (fill in the blank)”…never been down the track, no time slips, no proof, just some bitchin’ parking lot burnout pics and a hp guess to back up the chatter…run your car, not your mouth
and yep, I trailer to the track, I beat on my combo and have broken enough junk to be glad the trailer was there to get me home to race another day!