(Photo by Kerri Lohnes) – This horrifying scene greeted my wife as she entered my son Tom’s room yesterday. It was both hilarious and totally ironic. Obviously, I am a freak for the sport of drag racing and those genes have kind of rubbed off on the kids who have toy dragsters and stuff to play with. My dad is a drag racer and he happenes to also own and operate a pallet business (Lohnes Pallet Co.), so seeing this unfortunate action figure sprawled out on the floor after apparently being run over by a dragster that crashed through a pile of pallets had us cracking up all over the place here at BS Eastern World HQ. This is a photo that absolutely demands a caption!
CAPTION THIS PHOTO!
It was all crated and ready to ship, then I hit the key…
Torco’s latest fuel has some volatility issues.
BREAKING NEWS: Track Announcer Injured Today
Track announcer and Major Internet Celebrity Brian Lohnes is recovering today, after suffering a splintered ego and bruised sense of pride. The scene shown above was left in aftermath, from what witnesses have described as “EPIC”.
Neighbors reveal that Mr. Lohnes was working on a Top Alcohol Dragster in his driveway, and utilizing discarded pallets as a support structure. At some point during this ordeal, Mr. Lohnes Blipped the throttle of the digger, which in turn sent the rear tires spinning and expanding at a high rate of speed. The tires then caught one of the supporting pallet and proceeded to launch itself forward, capturing Lohnes in the process.
Our experts have concluded that it is not advisable to utilize discarded pallets as vehicle supports, and fully recommends properly rated jack stands at all times.
The incident was captured on video by neighbors who frequently witness some of the mechanical hijinks that occur at the BS Eastern World Headquarters, and they just happened to have the cameras rolling on this day. The video has been submitted to Diamond P Sports and Steve Edwards for inclusion on an upcoming “And They Walked Away” video.
Lohnes is expected to fully recover from these injuries.
At least he missed the christmas tree!
Ah don’t thank them pallets will work as safety barriers.
NYCSI was called to the Lohnes household / Bangshift eastern headquarters to investigate the fatality involving a Top Alcohol dragster being worked on a stack of pallets.
So far Detective Gary Sines aka LT Dan has only interviewed Gumby and Sponge Bob, the Rockum Sockum Brothers are currently being investigated as “persons of interest”.
Your track should have concrete rather then wood guardrails to protect yourself from people like me, Mayhem