There’s never a dull moment when me and Chad get together in the name of BangShifty business. Last weekend we really proved that to be true during our time in Bowling Green, Kentucky for the 2011 Holley NHRA National Hot Rod Reunion. Aside from thrashing on our live broadcast and event coverage, we managed to spend most of a day in a hospital, discovered that man has not completely mastered heavier than air flight, met some great BangShifters, laughed our asses off, and guzzled beers in an honest to goodness Honkey Tonk bar with blood stained shorts. We’ll explain. 

Redline 6900 – Our rental shitbox for this trip was a relatively new Chevy (read: DAEWOO) Aveo LT. The LT stands for “Lack of Torque” or “Lame Turd”. The car was a true stripper with crank windows and manual locks. The only redeeming thing Chad and I could find about this car is that it must be the lightest offering in the GM lineup, and it still probably weighs 3500lbs. Well, there was another redeeming thing.  

As we have discovered, most modern cars will not let you bounce the motor off the rev limiter in neutral any more. That was the case with the Aveo as several attempts at sending the accelerator through the carpet in neutral only netted us a cool, calm, and collected 4,000RPM. Our breakthrough moment came when we discovered that the car would not override us when we locked the automatic trans into first gear, like most cars do. Nope, this stupid little tin can would allow us to drive at 39mph in first at 6900RPM, which we did…for the entire weekend. We honestly logged nearly 50 miles in this car with the tach bouncing off of the thin red line marking the start of the engine kill zone. Gas mileage was reduced by about 100% but the pure joy this exercise filled us with was worth a tanker load of fuel. We hope someone analyzes the computer some day and they find the engine has way too many revolutions on it for the mileage. 

Turning my hand into “hamburger” – By now, lots of BS readers have heard that I had a fairly eventful Friday at the NHRR. Cutting right to the chase, Chad and I were loading up our equipment after rain set in at the track. We were up in our BS live broadcast HQ, known as scaffolding. Since some of our gear is literally worth more than the shitbox Aveo, getting it out of the rain is super important. I decided to climb off the scaffold so I could grab the boxes from the ground and pass them over the fence as Chad lowered them down. I turned, started to step down and I lost my footing on the side of the staging. I began to fall, reached out to grab the scaffold, ended up facing head first toward the ground and had enough time to think, “This is gonna hurt,” before I literally landed face first into the ground. I head Chad yelling at me, “ARE YOU OK?” and I stood up, realized that my limbs worked, then looked down at my right hand. 

The hand was bleeding like no wound I have ever had. Chad threw me paper towels and they began sopping up blood at a scary rate. With my good hand I helped lower the gear and then jumped the fence so we could get to the rental car. We headed to the hospital (in first gear) and ended up in the emergency room for several hours as the staff took care of me, ultimately installing 28 stitches in my right hand. We were the most popular guys in the place and we kept each other laughing for hours, especially when I turned my gaping wound into a mouth and Chad was filming me. The hospital was filled with cool people who did their jobs but knew how to have fun with a couple idiots like Chad and I.

When the nurse first looked at me and said, “OH! You have a hamburger hand!” I knew it was a good one.

Glory is fleeting. Scars are forever!

The Spillway Bar and Grill – After leaving the hospital with some perscriptions we did the sensible thing and went drinking. Or at least we tried. After misfiring at two restaurants, we pulled into the relatively full parking lot at the “Spillway Bar and Grill” in Bowling Green. Off the beaten path, this is a local joint that rules all. When we saw the sign on the door that said “Band Entrance” Chad looked at me and said, “THIS is the place!”

We could go on for hours describing the place, but the best analogy we can give is that the Spillway is the real life version of the “Boar’s Nest” from the Dukes of Hazzard. Beers on tap are, Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Lite. That’s it, and that’s all there should be. 

Debbie runs the place and she is straight out of the movies in the best way possible. Full of dirty jokes, southern charm, and the management skills of General Patton, she runs the place and there is no question about it. Chad and I were joking that she has a heater at arms’s reach at all times. 

I whalloped down 20 of the best hot wings I have ever eaten there along with a couple pain killing beers. It was the perfect end to a shit house day. As we were leaving Debbie ran out and said, “You boys tell all your friends to come and see us!” Not ones to defy Debbie, we’re doing just that.   

If you’re the type of person who doesn’t like a slightly rough and tumble atmosphere, stick to the Wendy’s for dinner. If you can check your pretense at the door, hit the Spillway, and hit it hard. The blood soaked shorts are optional. 

I’m begging you to stop with the mailbox “scoops” – There was a gripload of incredible cars at the 2011 Holley NHRR. Both on the strip and in the show field, we were constantly whipping our head around to see all the great stuff. From awesome muscle cars to bitchin’ kustoms, we were impressed with a lot of stuff. There was also a small (and shrinking as we can tell from years past) number of goofy cars that are using sight gags and cues that jumped the shark a couple years ago. 

If you are going to build a junk ass car with a modern Chevy 350 equipped with an HEI unit and all, please, we beg you, resist the temptation to put a mail box on it as a scoop. This was a creative move about 10 years ago, perhaps more than that. It is no longer creative. It is played out and awful.

To all the car guys and girls building rough and tumble traditional hot rods, I salute you. Those cars are great, and cool, and show that you love the history of this hobby. Please don’t take this item the wrong way, you guys and girls are getting it done and looking good.

To all the car guys and girls building some form of witty “rat rod” stop now. Buy a 1990s Chrysler product and put Hello Kitty stickers on it or something, because that’s slightly less bad than what you are doing to vintage steel someone else could use for purposes of good, not goofy. Lots of people are laughing at you…not with you.

Hanging with the crew – I had very little time to hang out with the BangShift readers and fourm members that were at the event in Bowling Green, and that kind of sucks. It is always good to shake some hands and bench race with our BS pals. Yelling pleasantries from the scaffolding isn’t the way I wanted to see people but it was about the best I was able to manage. Sorry ’bout that. Next year we’ll work on a mobile escalator to transport you to the top of our rickety broadcast palace!