Not one word about how nitrous or turbochargers are better. You know damn well what I mean when I say the blower always wins. It’s not a matter of performance. It’s a matter of looks, of appearance, and nothing comes close to a well-done Roots-style case with an intake standing proud out through the hood of a sorted machine. Pick your poison, it works. Early Mustang? Crown Victoria ex-cop car? Chevy K30 on Super Swampers? All three, all acceptable. The engine could be as mild as can be…and yes, you can build a mild blower motor that will live happily on the street on pump gas…but that visuals alone are what make things awesome. Imagine sitting at a red light, bored out of your head, and you look across the way and in-between the beaten white work van and some silver pseudo-wagon looking thing, you saw this. Black and chrome, low and mean, thumping a rhythm that reeks of decades ago and wearing lines that would scare the designers of today straight, with that drive belt whirring away. It’s just sitting there, idling. It’ll probably pull away from the light with no drama whatsoever. But you have this perception that it’ll do more. That those tires are doomed to roast. That at a moment’s notice, a whole lot of Chevrolet will move out in a loud, bombastic manner.

Putting any fin car together with this kind of quality takes cubic dollars. Sorry, it’s the truth. The re-chroming and perfecting of the trim alone will nuke a project budget, and that’s before you get to body work, interior restoration, paint or any of the fun bits. So this 502-powered monster of an Impala will be an expensive affair because it was a monumental undertaking to complete. But the individual who commissioned this car and those who did the work knocked the quality out of the park. It’s built to be a driver, down to the GearVendors-equipped automatic. You could get in this Chevrolet and go hit the highway if you were so inclined. In the summer, that sounds like a fever dream.

I don’t give a damn what your brand loyalty is. If you can say that you’d never want to drive this machine, get out. Leave.

Mecum Auctions’ Kissimmee 2021: Lot S46, 1959 Chevrolet Impala two-door