While I’m sure there is a part of Brian Lohnes that will fall head over heels in love with this 1972…1978…um, let’s just say 1970s Dodge wrecker, all I can say is “sorry, Boss, but I saw it first!” And I’m sure more than half of you are staring at your computer, looking at the pictures, and wondering if I actually drink shots of WD-40 for fun. It’s okay, I’m used to the strange looks by now. In fact, if you are playing along at home, pull out the “McTaggart’s Online Find” Bingo card, and see if you can win a prize:
- It’s a 1970s product
- It’s a Chrysler Corporation product of some type
- It’s uglier than a man’s ass
- Maybe two other people in the entire world might like it
- Guaranteed divorce material
Did any of you win?
Here’s the thing: I look at this brutal and beefy Dodge and I see mothers sheltering children. I see adult men getting nervous. I see hilarity everywhere I go, and with the Holmes 440 wrecker body on the back, I see usefulness as well. What do I actually know about the truck? The cab body suggests 1972, thanks to the fuel tank behind the seat and the grille, but that isn’t in stone. It is packing a big-block under the hood (please, be a 440…) and that it runs and drives. Those rear wheels and tires, the ones that date back to the stone age? Yeah, they gotta go. So does the front stabilizer shock.
What do you do with something like this, though? I’d find a similar dual rear wheel setup that will keep the same visual aspect of what is on there now. I’d go full Mad Max for a front pushbar setup. I’d have to mess around with the engine to pull some stump-pulling figures out of it. And I’d have to find a friend living in an HOA neighborhood and park it on the street, just so I could hear the NIMBY neighbors lose their minds. Go ahead, call the tow truck, I’ll wait.
$4,500 buys the beast. Being honest, you can buy the truck if you want, but we have nothing for you after that if you are sticking to the $5,000 budget. Might we suggest putting the wrecker body to use? Get the oil-stained shirt and jeans ready…if you are going to drive something like this, you might as well go whole hog and look the part too!