Each November, every major and minor player in the automotive aftermarket shows up in Las Vegas for the SEMA (Specialty Equipment Market Association) Show. Everything from accessories to engines, fuel injection to seat covers, and lighting to superchargers is on display and available for dealers and media to see and touch. It truly is THE place to see all that the aftermarket has to offer, along with the coolest cars from builders around the country. It’s a seriously bitchin event, but for guys like us that need to get the info out to our readers fast, it’s also a serious ass whip. My feet have never hurt as bad as they did on Thursday evening, which is why I ditched the long pants and shoes on Friday to go back to my normal Chad attire.

This year the show had more people running around than we’ve seen in a few years, and it had everyone abuzz with hope that this is the beginning of a great 2012 for the aftermarket. All the cool announcements about new parts from the heavy hitters in the industry certainly didn’t hurt either.

We’ve been coming to the SEMA show for more than a decade, and when we first started it was all about checking out each and every booth, partying in Vegas, and being in the know before the regular “civilians”. Now it’s a mad rush for Brian and I to find the hot products, shoot a million photos, and shake hands with current and future sponsors which makes our SEMA show experience one hell of a whirl wind. Even while running ourselves ragged, we get to experience each year as it’s own show because each year the SEMA Show has it’s own personality. Some years are all about drag cars, or mini trucks, or whatever. This year was the year of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Literally. It still may have been the best SEMA Show in 5 years, but there were a few things that drove us nuts.

We saw some of the finest project cars every to grace the show floor, along with parts that made our mouths water, right next to crap that doesn’t belong sharing the same air we breath. Don’t get me wrong, there is always a group of “Wrong” cars at SEMA, but this year the good and bad were much more polarizing than normal. It’s no surprise that we can be rather opinionated around here, and choose to address the crap that we don’t like. If you like something we don’t like, be as passionate about it as we are about the things we like, and you’ll still be cool in our book. But make sure you can handle the criticism. We can.

We’ve shown you a bunch of the great stuff from the SEMA Show already, and so it is that I start on my normal rant about the crap we saw at the 2011 SEMA Show. Let’s start with my favorite, the big inch wheel guys.

I personally see no need for a wheel bigger than 20 inches. I’ll let you have 22, but that is a stretch with rare exception. The killer 1960 Ford F100 built by 2 Brothers Custom Trucks is a bad ass but has 24 inch wheels that I would have preferred were 20 inchers with some rubber on them. Would I drive it on the 24s if they gave it to me? Hell yes, but the companies that are making 24, 26, 28, and 30 inch wheels should be slapped up side the head for continuing to ruin perfectly good cars. We all know that size matters, but at some point too big will just scare the ladies. Plus, the fabrication required to stuff those big bastards under a 1978 Malibu is way more than most of the guys running them can handle.

Next up on the chopping block is incompetent booth spokespeople. Some of them are dumb booth babes which I already hate because they bring nothing to the SEMA Show table except for dirty old men clogging up the isles, but some of them are supposed to be there representing companies that you know and love. If you are going to hire someone to announce at your booth, please pick someone that knows a 1970 Chevelle from a hole in the ground. We actually heard one spokesperson ask if a modified 1970’s car would be available to the public anytime soon. Really? The builder actually answered “Well, it was 40 years ago!”. Really? Wow. Get a clue. We know that we’re not necessarily the most polished looking fellows on the planet, but we certainly wouldn’t look like a boob who doesn’t know anything about cars. Look at your audience gang. The SEMA Show isn’t for the Paris Auto Show crowd. It’s about the aftermarket and car builders. We aren’t the most polished crowd.

I could go on with a few more gripes from the SEMA Show, but I’m going to limit it to one more, fake patina. With no planning whatsoever, I am one of the folks that made the barn find patina car popular. When I took Rusty, my ’56 Chevy Wagon, on Hot Rod’s Power Tour in 2005 unpainted and looking like we just dragged it out of a field it was because we thought it looked cool and didn’t have time to finish it any further. During that trip we fell in love with it and as far as I’m concerned it’s done the way it is. If you show up to a show now with a great patina on your car, I love it. If you show up with clear coat over your patina to make it shiny, or a full on fake patina job, I say shame on you. Either go out and find a real barn find, or paint your car. Primer is cool too. But faking a patina job just sucks out loud and anybody worth their salt realizes you are just a poser. There are much cooler ways to go, most just as low buck, and some even cheaper. I can’t get behind fake patina and neither should you. I can let new door art, made to look old, on original patina slide in some cases, but don’t fake the wear and tear of real patina. Especially if you don’t have a clue as to how it would really wear. Seriously, some of you guys must not have ever seen a real barn or field find. Give it up. Stop insulting us all. It looks like crap when you fake it.

For those of you who haven’t been to the SEMA Show, and have a legitimate business that will allow you to go, you’ve got to come in 2012. We hope that you guys can run around looking at every single part, party with your friends, and enjoy each and every moment. We’ll be living vicariously through you, because with video shoots and meetings galore, each day ends with us grabbing something to eat, or not, and sitting in front of the computer along with video producer Dustin to get content up as soon as possible. We must have turned down 50 dinner invitations in order to bring you all the content you expect here at BangShift, and with twice the SEMA content traffic as last year we must have been doing something right. The good news too is that we have a couple new sponsors coming on board in the coming weeks and will be announcing them shortly. That means more event coverage, more live broadcasts, and a bigger and badder BangShift.com in 2012. So even though the partying has stopped, and we’re still tired, we’ll be back in 2012 and hope to see you there. If you are lucky enough to get a car in the show, keep the wheels small and avoid the fake patina, or we’ll pull your BangShift membership card.