Ya know, Chad was pretty nice about my fixation with trucks, tractors, and other implements of slow plodding coolness, but that’s not normal. Nope, behind the scenes he angrily berates me and calls me mean names. All the while, that crazy SOB is all hopped up motorhome and camper meth like some sort of deranged cult leader. I know for a fact that the various restraining orders that he has out against him would prevent virtually all animals and human beings from spending any amount of time in close proximity, so he’d be cruising that big blue slug down the road alone…which is even weirder than liking it in the first place. I vowed to get him back one day, to take my shot when the time was right, and that ship has finally come in.

While the bearded guy is mopping up the ugly mess he made when seeing that Flexible motorhome, I was busying spying the awesome bastard below. For starters, it has friggin’ eight wheel drive. Additionally it has a 55,000lb winch, a 500hp Detroit Diesel 8V92 engine, a back seat to sleep in like a man not like some weirdo in an overgrown ice cream truck, and oh…it has eight wheel drive. Yeah, I said that twice because it has eight wheel drive. See, I did it again. This truck was built for the purpose of hauling 70-ton battle tanks. A regular eighteen wheeler comes in at like 80,000lbs loaded. Without the weight of the truck of the trailer this guy is already weighing 140,000 lbs. It would be cool to have a tug of war with that bus Chad is so fond of, especially if that tug of war ended with the bus melting in a giant cavernous pit of lava….cue maniacal laughter.

Only 60 of these trucks were ever built and they were sold at a cost of $350,000. The buy it now on this baby is $70,000 and it looks brand new with less than 10,000 miles on it. I’d venture to guess that this truck could be used for any number of cool things like destroying vintage motorhomes, delivering a shaving kit, hauling the bruised and hogtied body of a company co-owner to a place even NASA satellites couldn’t find it, bulldozing stuff, drives to the mall, winching stuck motorhomes out of the ditch, only to release them once their hopes of being free with up and driving away, you know all the typical stuff you like to do on the weekends. I bet with a 5 gallon pail of transmission fluid, a big enough tree, and a heavy enough foot, I could pull off an eight wheel burnout. It could also look cool crashing through the Flexible company museum, erasing any potential history that Chad may be trying to latch onto.

Yep…I waited a long time to uncork the big truck pimp hand on Chad but I think my timing here is minto.

(Cue a phone call from a California area code in 3….2….)

EBAY FIND: A BAD ASS 8-WHEEL DRIVE, DETROIT DIESEL POWERED TANK HAULER THAT MAKES CHAD’S MOTORHOME IT’S BIATCH