Old school airport limos are neat in a freakshow kind of way. Unlike modern limos that just have four doors and a large passenger area with a wet bar, TV, hot tub, stripper pole, and snappy lighting, these old battleships have doors by the dozen, seating like church pews, and the turning radius of a modern cruise liner. The cars were typically owned by hotels or resorts and as their name suggests, they were used to shuttle people from the airport to their destination.

We were tipped off to these cars by Mike and Scott at Route 2 Media, otherwise known as the BangShift interwebs geek squad. We love them because they’re as screwed up and weird as the rest of us. Anywho, these two large and lovely automotive ladies were both built by the Stageway Coach company. The gold colored car is a ’67 and the silver beaut is a ’71. Both are V8 powered and we do not know the displacement of either. We’re hoping that the ’67 isn’t packing a 326 because it would probably be slower than Brutus the tow truck. Then again with a bigger inch engine, the elevendy hundred foot long driveshaft may twist up like al dente pasta.

Both cars are currently being used as a rentals down in Alabama by the same company. We’re not sure who in their right mind would pay money to roll around in these things all day on a sight seeing tour or something. The fact that the cars are up for sale on eBay may indicate that no one did. On the plus side, we’re sure that they have frame rails that are the size of bridge girders under them and they’d probably take 1500 years to rust through. Hey, the cars haven’t collapsed in the middle yet, so they must be fine.

We don’t know why anyone would want these, other than to peg their personal awesome meter. We’re guessing if you drove either of these through a school zone, you’d be jailed immediately until the police could make sure you were not some creepy weirdo. Parallel parking would be a wistful dream and unless you have driven a stretched box truck, navigating either of these wagons on anything nearing a city street would probably result in more insurance claims than a chain reaction highway pileup.

What say you….should we buy then and have a two car massive demo derby to the death?

eBay find: Humongo Pontiac airport limo 1

Humongo Pontiac airpoirt limo 2