The songs. The shopping. That creepy-ass elf doll on the shelf that you forgot to move for the last three days. The risk that some big-boned, white-bearded man in 1970s pimp velour is going to just drop into your living room, dump a bunch of shipping boxes underneath that twig you call a tree, and bolt after finishing off your cookies…yup, it’s Christmas season. And with apologies to those who adore the beauty and wonder of it all…until Santa sees fit to leave a brand-new Weiand 177 blower underneath the tree this year, we’ll just enjoy the kids going nuts, then will move on, thank you very much. But we’ve got just over a week to get through, so before you go brave the few who are still shopping, get a little bit of Scrapple in your system. It’s roasted over an open fire, too!

1. Question: Why did you hire the guy who spent over $37 grand on a pen?!

Note: not actual pen.

A former FCA labor relations chief under federal investigation for a multi-million dollar embezzlement scheme just got punted from his gig at General Motors. Alphons Iacobelli was confirmed to have been fired from GM recently, though how recently has not been divulged. GM had hired Iacobelli in 2016 as an executive director of labor relations after he left FCA the year prior under shady circumstances.

To give you an idea just how deep the fertilizer that Iacobelli is in over the FCA embezzlement deal, the money that he is accused of raiding from the worker training fund is believed to have gone towards home renovations, a swimming pool, credit card bills, a Ferrari 458, the lease of a private jet, and two Mont Blanc pens that cost $37,500 EACH. Jesus H., man, you couldn’t raid a co-worker’s desk like a normal kelptomaniac?!

2. Gone and forgotten, it seems.

April 29, 2004 was the death date for Oldsmobile. The brand that had held up for decades, and had brought out innovation and class leaders, died with a whimper after General Motors let it wither on the vine pretty much after 1987, with any good moves made too late to make an impact. You would think that the cars of this historic brand that were saved by the R.E. Olds Museum and the GM Heritage Museum would be worth keeping around, right? Nope. Yesterday the final Oldsmoble, a 2004 Alero, the final Cutlass (1999) and final Ciera (1996) went to auction at a dealer-only house in New York, who would not divulge the cars’ final prices.

3. That’s what you get for those antlers and red nose. 

Decorative antlers, wreaths, the tree strapped to the roof, and of course, that Rudolph the Red Nosed Redneck button nose on the front of the poor vehicle. Why do this to your vehicle?! Check out the video of the test and the not-so-surprising results at Autoblog.com.

4. Want a new car? Talk to the cat.

No, this isn’t an anime cartoon, this is a real, proposed deal: This cat-shaped car dispensary is the work of Alibaba Group’s Tmall group and is designed to make car buying “as easy as buying a can of Coke”. The rough gist of it: you rent the car for up to three days on a test-drive status. Then you either return the car or purchase it. We’re still concerned about the cat-shaped building ourselves.

5. Now THIS is pod-racing!

Ugh, I feel dirty just saying that. Now that I’ve gotten the Star Wars quip out of the way, this is actually something to pay attention to. An Australian group is trying to develop a flying car demonstration race and potentially a championship series, and has taken to Kickstarter to drum up the funds. Alauda Racing and their Mark 1 Airspeeder, is hoping to start testing in some random desert…somewhere…in the middle of next year. The first tests will be with unmanned vehicles, but there is hope that a manned race filled with adrenaline, attitude and tons of whirling propellors can become a thing. Insurance companies are going to have a coronary over this one…