You have exactly two weeks to get off of your ass and to get your affairs in order for this year’s Christmas. Get the food ready. Get the presents ready. Get the drink ready…after all of this is said and done, chances are pretty good that everybody is going to need some spiked cider in their lives to tide them over until New Year’s Day, when we can start fresh. We’ve been jamming behind the scenes like mad men, handling what we’ve got to handle, but we can still take a quick swipe at the kind-of newsworthy bits of the week. We roast them, we toast them, and then we smash everything together into a lump and slap a scoopful onto your plate. It’s Scrapple…enjoy!

1. Star power, son.Since 1935, the Chevrolet Suburban has been one of the Bow Tie Brigade’s finest pieces. The design of an all-steel work wagon was right. The size has been right. The capability has been right. And it’s ruggedness has been right. It’s also been a hard-worker in Hollywood, with an estimated 1,750 appearances over the years since 1952, one television series a years since 1956, and one movie a year since 1960. Now, on the cusp of the next generation of Suburban appearing, with it’s rumored independent rear suspension and more people-friendly demeanor, it seems fitting that the Suburban (and it’s shorter Tahoe sibling) were the recipient of the first Hollywood Walk Of Fame star for a vehicle.

Somewhere, there is a Dodge Charger fan punching holes into drywall, I’m sure.

 2. Um…yeah, that’ll do.

In February 2017, a sinkhole opened up near Studio City and swallowed up Stephanie Scott’s vehicle whole, with her inside it. She managed to extract herself out of the upside-down vehicle, which now rested ten feet below the street surface, and was extracted out using a ladder. She sued the City of Los Angeles, the county, and the departments of water and power, public works and county sanitation districts, claiming that their negligence that caused the sinkhole to occur caused her to suffer a traumatic brain injury, post-concussive syndrome and vision problems. The court agreed and awarded her $4,000,000 for her suffering. injuries, and losses.

3. Oh my god…AGAIN?!

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: German prosecutors raid the Volkswagen headquarters in Wolfsburg, Germany regarding of an investigation into a diesel engine that the company manufacturers. Isn’t that what we’ve been hearing about for years now? The “Dieselgate” deal? Well, yes and no. This time around, the prosecutors were looking into the EA 288 engine, the one that came after the EA 189 series, the one that investigators first targeted. VW has put out a statement that said the searchh was targeting individuals, and that they consider the investigations “unfounded”. Maybe so, but VW is fighting an uphill battle there. They said the same thing about the last investigation, up until an internal whistleblower blew the lid off of everything.

4. Buick Regal dead, and on a side note, Holden’s boss leaves after a horrific sales year.

Pour one out for the Buick Regal…2020 will be it’s last year in the North American market under any form. While the Regal will live on in China, where it sells in decent numbers, Buick is moving to eliminate cars and go utility-only from here on out. Oddly enough, in a similar vein of news, Holden leader Dave Buttner is cleaning his desk out after Holden posted it’s worst sales year since 1948. Shockingly enough, Australians haven’t been impressed with sport-utes and a Opel Insignia with a different grille design, either.

5. What’s the big deal? Just some cats resting in the garden…

The last place you would expect to find a horde of classic cars would be in a greenhouse. Hot, damp climates are god-awful for old metal, especially for old British machines like Jaguars. But a restoration shop was tasked to remove thirty Jaguars of different styles out of a greenhouse in Hampshire, England, and they’ve found everything from a ton of parts to some beauties like a 1960 XK150 3.8L Drophead that is the fourth-to-last of the model built. Somebody scored big-time.