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Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-Worthy News: This Week, More New Car Rumors, In The Hits And Misses Departments!


Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-Worthy News: This Week, More New Car Rumors, In The Hits And Misses Departments!

The kitchen was flooded with news about cars, new and forthcoming! It’s taken us a minute to sort out what was good and what was okay, and we took the rest, along with some seaweed (it’s like kale, right?) and fried it up to serve to you for a quick snack. Here’s this week’s Scrapple…hope you don’t mind the salt.

1. Ford contemplating bringing the world-market Ranger to the U.S., and possibly a Bronco, too?

2015 Ford Ranger

Just a year or two ago auto journalists were announcing the death of the small truck. Then GM unleashed the revamped Chevrolet Colorado/GMC Canyon twins, and suddenly it’s on like Donkey Kong. Nissan is refreshing the Frontier, possibly by using the world-market Navara, Toyota actually got off their asses and freshened up the Tacoma, and now the big rumor is that Ford will bring the overseas-market Ranger back. It’s a good-sized truck that is very capable, and if it has the diesel power plants from the Transit in it, BONUS. The even stranger word from Blue Oval territory is that it could spawn a small SUV to go along with it. “Bronco” has been on every possible outlet ever since that quip was released, though we’d be happy with a version of the Troller T4 that is sold in Brazil.

2. The Chrysler 300C SRT-8 IS DEAD. YOU HEAR ME? D.E.A.D. DEAD! Quit Asking! (except here, there, and there…

chrysler 300

Yeah, that’s pretty much FCA’s attitude towards what was Chrysler’s iron fist in a velvet glove. Except it only seems to apply for North America. Here’s the list of where you can get a brand new Chrysler SRT-8, according to Car and Driver: Australia, New Zealand, Brunei, Zimbabwe, South Africa, Belarus, Angola, six Middle Eastern countries, Indonesia, Japan, and South Korea. Great…now I’m gonna have to wait 25 years to import one.

3. Nasty bit: Here is the next-generation Toyota Prius:

Courtesy of CarScoops:

2016 Prius 2 2016 prius

 

Sorry about that…

4. Nissan’s next Z-car won’t be a car, according to the rumor mill…

370Z drift

You know what radiation does to things in Japan, right? If it gets onto a lizard, we get Godzilla. If a moth is affected, we get Mothra. If it gets on a squid, we get…well, I’m sure you can guess where that’s going, can’t you? And if it lands on the current Nissan 370Z, there is a good chance that the next time you see it, it will morph into a crossover SUV with sporty aspirations. I wish I was kidding here.

5. Dinner and a show: Macklemore’s “Downtown”

The song is love-it-or-hate-it, but check out all of the old-school rides in the video! Scooters, motorcycles, a four-bike chariot, Fox Mustang, a BRAT, and Kool Moe Dee. And that’s before the first chorus…


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8 thoughts on “Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-Worthy News: This Week, More New Car Rumors, In The Hits And Misses Departments!

  1. Chevy Hatin' Mad Geordie

    Your kitchen was flooded with forthcomings?

    Good God, man – the stench must have been hellish – might I suggest the services of a fair plumber and I will provide sanctuary for your children. Now excuse me as I must away to shoe my horse and take a birch to the local urchins who ravage my marrow patch……

  2. mooseface

    I hope Ford brings their global Ranger to our shores. The Ranger we had here was easily the best compact truck we’d ever had (this is coming from a devout Toyota truck guy, mind you) and the specs and details of this Ranger are very appealing.
    Maybe it’ll jolt Toyota into skipping the third-gen Taco altogether and releasing a fourth-gen that’s designed for practicality and utility instead of ego-stroking and fugly fish-faced exaggerated grills.

    Sorry if it seems I’m channeling CK with this semi-rant, this is just an area I’m very passionate about.

    1. john t

      nooooooooooooooo! don’t be bringin’ that CK curse back!! its been lovely and quiet here in bangshift land…

      1. mooseface

        Sorry.
        If it makes you feel any better, I did knock on wood for about twenty minutes after posting.

  3. anthony

    So as far as the Z car,may as well just say its dead and no new replacement is coming behind it.

    1. Matt Cramer

      The Z-car based crossover is the Infiniti FX35 – although I think they’ve renamed it to something else to maximize customer confusion.

      I’ve tried several sorts of seaweed, from Japanese to Canadian – and they’re all even worse than kale. Apparently some people like it, though – the Newfies seem to use the red sort as a substitute for potato chips.

  4. Whelk

    It would be nice to have a Ranger, I just hope Ford keeps it small, and available as a two door. It’s hard to find a non-crew cab these days.

  5. Derek

    Oh yes PLEASE! I just got back from Africa, there were a few of these rangers, and they are awesome! Small, diesel, 4×4 rigs are the way to go imo. North Americans could use a shift in attitude away from full-size v8 pickups in general. I didnt see a single one in Kenya. Why? Because they’re pretty much useless and unneccessary in general.

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