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The “WTF?” Files: I Promise You, There’s A 1984 Pontiac Firebird In There Somewhere


The “WTF?” Files: I Promise You, There’s A 1984 Pontiac Firebird In There Somewhere

The Hunter Cavalry. The Vapid Imperator. The Dart Retaliator. What do these vehicles have in common? They are all fictional musclecars (Burnout Paradise, Grand Theft Auto 5 and Driv3r, respectively) and they all are generic forms of the prototypical muscle car circa 1970: long hood, short deck, bright colors and stout power. There might be some flavors that hint at a real-world car (the Cavalry, for instance, has a 1969 Mustang tail pan, 1969 GTO nose and the overall body shape of an E-body Chrysler) but they are their own creations that keep video game developers from having to pay out of the ass in royalties for using the trademarked likenesses of the real deals.

And that’s the same vibe we’re getting looking at this machine. If we hadn’t put “1984 Pontiac Firebird” in the title, would you have honestly guessed that was the vehicle you were looking at? I doubt it highly. While the car has some generic and blended touches. the overall shape screams 1970 Ford Torino/1971 Ford Australia Falcon, with just a hit of Mopar here and there, like the hoop nose front end and the bright blue color. Let’s make it clear right now: we are not dogging on this creation one bit. For a kit car, it’s surprisingly good. It’s doing a great job of hiding a third-gen F-body, and we could see it molded into a off-beat Mad Max machine with minimal input. Even the interior wasn’t untouched…there’s strong hints of Mustang in the dash and some of the control surfaces, while certain GM parts, like the Caprice-sourced gauge cluster and GM AM/FM/CD player offset. And that shifter…we’re pretty sure that was raided from a Lincoln Mark VIII. The grunt is provided by an LT-1 V8 (the 1990s version, probably from the Caprice) and whoever signed off on those turbine wheels, excellent choice.

It looks every bit a 1970s hot ride, but would leave everybody wondering, “What the hell was that?!” How much is individuality worth to you?

Craigslist Link: 1984 Pontiac Firebird. No, really…


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17 thoughts on “The “WTF?” Files: I Promise You, There’s A 1984 Pontiac Firebird In There Somewhere

  1. Gary

    Wow! You perspective of this against video game creations is interesting; since I don’t play video games. My first thought was that I rarely see any modern customs worth a second glance, and this thing is very, very, nice. I’d go so far as to say I’d even drive it with the crap choice of engine (which is anything GM to me). The car is, IMO, gorgous!

  2. Will

    That thing is double take cool.
    Subtle enough to fool the unwashed masses and wild enough to make gearheads take note.
    Im impressed

  3. Dan Barlow

    Very cool looking car . Only mistake is that he didn’t start with a C4 chassis . The 3rd gen f body is basically a glorified Vega chassis with better brakes . Don’t throw stones at me I had one . Only thing , underneath the front suspension doesn’t have double A arms like the Vega, it has a sort of macpherson strut . That’s only better if your drag racing .

  4. jerry z

    Like BMT said, it could pass off as an Austrailian Falcon. I like the use of the Caprice engine, IC, radio, and heater controls. Nice!

  5. ratpatrol66

    This thing is so cool. Way better than any kit car ever. Gotta be a lot of time and money in this and it shows.

  6. Chevy Hatin' Mad Geordie

    A beautiful creation that only needs a Coyote motor under the hood to achieve perfection!

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