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Top 11: Tiniest Cars That McTaggart Has Had The Misfortune Of Fitting Into


Top 11: Tiniest Cars That McTaggart Has Had The Misfortune Of Fitting Into

Let’s face facts: I’m 6’3, 270lbs, and I have a size 15EE shoe.  Those three facts combine into someone who has a legitimate justification for owning a larger vehicle. Hell, unless I’m in street clothes I find the military LMTV truck just barely roomy enough. Over the years I’ve had friends and colleagues ask me why I didn’t just give in and get a crew-cab diesel dually so I’d be comfortable. I don’t really have an answer to that, as that both sounds really cool and sounds like justification for a new ride that I can’t afford. But there is the other end of the scale as well, one that requires me fold up into Position #42 from the Karma Sutra before I can attempt to fit. So what, exactly, have I managed to wedge my big ass into? Here’s the top 10 Tiniest Cars I’ve ever managed to fit in.

11. 1989 Hyundai Sonata

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I was seventeen and my cousin, on the advice of my grandfather, brought this turd of a car home. Look at the pictured ride, except rip off the hubcaps, screw up the paint, rip off the rear bumper cap and put something dead in the trunk for two weeks, just to make sure the smell is perfect. The second I laid eyes on that horrifying shitbox I insisted that I would never drive it, but when you’re a teenager and need a car to get to work, sometimes you do things you didn’t want to do. This one wasn’t too bad on room but it still was beyond the size of car I’d prefer.

10. Geo Metro

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My stepfather owned one of these little gas-sipping gumdrops for a while. For one reason or another I ended up driving the car around. Apparently whoever set up the clutch feel in these cars used Great-Aunt Ethyl as the basis for clutch stiffness…absolutely no feel whatsoever. Leaning the seat back a little did wonders.

9. Rolled-over Mustang II

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I normally fit just fine into a Mustang II. However, once the windshield and A-pillars have collapsed under their own weight, things get incredibly tight. The car was a notchback version that had been rolled into a ditch. After being turned right-side-up the car started just fine, so we decided to see if it’d drive around just fine. It looked like the roof was form-fitted around me.

8. Subaru Leone

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I don’t remember the “why” part of the story but at one point in time two of these eye-bleach worthy wagons graced our presence. You took your life into your hands driving one of these, I swear. I calculated that if you got hit at anything over 25mph you were going for a ride in the meat wagon. Just to prove my point, the redneck neighbor decided to back a ’75 Plymouth demo derby car through the side of one at about 40-ish MPH. The B-pillar was shoved in to almost the shifter. Yikes.

7. Ford Fiesta

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“Fiesta” is “party” in Spanish. Whoever thought that was the perfect name for this Coke-can rattletrap must’ve been slamming José Cuervo like none other, because this thing could kill parties. This was rolling birth control. I’ll give credit that it was roomier in the cabin than it should have been, but that might have been because we hacked the roof off and turned the car into a pseudo-ute. Redneck engineering for the win.

6. Fiat 500

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When the Fiat 500 was being shown at the 2010 SEMA show, I had to try to fit into one. One of two things was going to happen: A) I wouldn’t fit, or B) I would but it would look like a clown car. Guess which one happened. I can physically drive a Fiat 500. Or, more appropriately, wear one.

5. Dodge Avenger Coupe

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Of all of the cars on the list, this one was a surprise. I had decided that I wanted a commuter car with a five-speed manual transmission and two doors that could pull some decent MPG numbers. This car was on the final list, but once I drove it, I couldn’t wait to get out of it. The Avenger and Sebring are mechanically the same as the third-gem Mitsubishi Eclipse, and you can tell it was designed with the Japanese dimension regulations in mind. It’s the largest car I’ve ever felt claustrophobic in. There is no happy way to adjust the seat and steering wheel to fit someone my size…which is odd, because my best friend had the Eclipse, is my size, and swore he loved the car. Masochist.

4. Chevrolet LUV

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The predecessor to the Chevy S-1o is a Micro Machine. The LUV was like a happy bumbling puppy: It would do whatever you asked of it but don’t expect anything smooth. The engine had to be the first case study in NVH prevention, because I could sense when each rocker arm moved in that engine by holding onto the shifter. The clue about the truck being too small occurred when I was in one off-roading when the driver decided to jump it at fifty miles an hour. There was a perfect dent in the roof where my head hit.

3.  Ford Bronco II

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No wonder the Explorer was such a hit. After driving one Bronco II, which was about as lifted as the pictured truck, I became very, very aware of top-heavy vehicles. Driving one I felt like a lemur holding onto a steering wheel. My uncle owned one, and got him to let me borrow it so that I could take two friends to a sandpit in Colorado Springs for a while. Three teenagers well over six feet tall in a top heavy SUV…great ideas just waiting to happen there! There may have been an incident where I jumped the truck over my friend Josh…but I’m not admitting that. Just saying it might have happened.

2. VW Karmann Ghia

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I don’t remember why I had to drive my friend Stephanie’s Karmann Ghia from West Fort Hood into Killeen, Texas. I just remember that the seat was jammed all the way forward, it couldn’t adjust, and that I could heel/toe the car using one foot for all three pedals. By far and wide my most miserable driving experience ever. She adored her car and I’ve heard similar things from all early VW owners. I will disagree until I die. The things I do for friends…

1. Lotus Elise

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I couldn’t help myself. The Lotus Elise is many things: a great track car, a cute little roadster…and too damn small for yours truly. This was at Bandimere and there were witnesses to this occasion. The Elise was about two cars behind me in the lanes and since there was something going on I asked the guy if I could try to wedge my big ass in there. Strangely enough, he said yes, and the next thing I knew I was in the car. Here’s the truth: Certain body parts would be in danger of getting tangled in the steering wheel and I couldn’t move my leg well enough to run the clutch. And for bonus points, I pulled a groin muscle getting out of the damn thing.


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13 thoughts on “Top 11: Tiniest Cars That McTaggart Has Had The Misfortune Of Fitting Into

  1. Nick D.

    At 6’3″, 230-ish pounds, I know the feeling. Every time I have to get in a Chevy Spark or a Pontiac Solstice at work, I groan. The C4 Corvettes are pretty damn uncomfortable too, along with sucking in every other aspect. Strangely, I own a Miata and find that completely comfortable though.

    As for the Leone, I own the Loyale, which is what it was later renamed, and although I don’t find it that small, I’ll admit that they seem a little dangerous. The center of gravity is somewhere around my eyebrows and it tops out at 55mph at 3700rpm.

  2. Whelk

    I’m 6’2″ and have ranged from 235 (high school) to 315 (now). The smallest space in a car I wedged myself into was the back seat of a 73 Mustang Grande for a trip from Ohio to Wisconsin. I had to share the back with a full sized cooler too. When we stopped I had to wriggle out head first like a snake onto the pavement.

  3. TheSilverBuick

    This blog needs MORE pictures, lol.

    A friend of mine in highschool was 6’3″ ish and well over 200lbs and drove his Dad’s Chevy Luv from time to time.

    1. Tedly

      If this post becomes popular enough, you may not have a choice. I think I’ll spread this around a bit.

  4. Dutch

    I own (and enjoy driving) a 1979 FIAT X1/9. It’s the worlds biggest go-kart.
    I’m 6’4″ and 305 lbs. I don’t really get in it, it’s more like I put it on.
    After the driver’s seat is removed, there’s lotsa room in there. I fit just fine.

    BTW, we did the same thing to a Fiesta back in the late ’80s.
    Redneck engineering for the win.

  5. James Boos

    I’m 6’4, and for some odd reason I choose to buy and drive the smallest cars in the world. 74 Bug, 02 Cavalier, now a Mini S. Yet, oddly enough, the time I feel the most crammed is in express vans. Miles of space behind me, but I feel like I’m in a coffin.

  6. Cyclone03

    The USAF lets me drive one of those Express Vans, but with the Box on the back,just getting my size 12’s in it is hard enough but the box prevents the seat from going back at least 2 notch’s. The actual van is ok seat to wheel ,still no foot room. If I don’t get to drive I sit on the bench in the back because the passenger side is worse than the drivers side.

  7. ratpatrol66

    I can relate on the Metro and Luv. Funniest thing I ever saw was at an Alabama concert when 3 guys rolled in a Geo Metro. Smallest cowboy was 6’1″ 230, biggest guy was 6’5″ 260, cowboy hats, belt buckles and boots! I guess you had to be there?

  8. CTX-SLPR

    I don’t know how they made the Stratus/Sebring so small on the inside. I’m 6’2″ though I maxed out at 200 well after I did the Sebring rental. I swear a Neon was infinitely more comfortable to drive.

    My biggest peeve about most of these cars being tall is where they stick the dang rear view mirror. The Jetta I’m renting now I swear has it right at eye level and I have trouble seeing around it.

  9. Tedly

    At 5’10” and 155, I was the smallest of my friends around high school time and didn’t have my own car for awhile. ever gone on a trip in the back of a CRX, the extended cab area of an 85 Nissan pickup, the package tray area of a Bug (OK, that one was when I was 13), the hatch of a mid 80’s Accord, back seat of a mid 80’s Toyota Starlet… No wonder my knees are shot.

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