It all started when a 48-year-old man in the U.K. named Gary Brissett took his key and proceeded to add some impromptu pinstripes to an Aston Martin V8 Vantage that was parked at a supermarket.
No matter your opinion of supercar owners, surely you can agree that A) some hard earned money was spent to purchase that Aston, and that B) the man pushing the baby stroller is nothing short of an asshole. The 48-year-old man has since been taken in for questioning over the incident, which dinged the owner of the Vantage for roughly $15,000 in paint repairs. From where we sit, it’s a damn good thing that the Bobbies got him, because what most gearheads would love to do to him would be a lot more rigorous than asking if he broke out a key and dragged the GT coupe. But that isn’t the part of the story I want to talk about.
This is Catriona Stewart. She is a writer at the Herald Scotland newspaper, and on September 10th, 2015, she published a column entitled, “Joys Of Pootling Along In The Car“. By the time I finished reading it I wanted to shove her through a woodchipper. I’ve never seen a worse case of someone blaming the victim and rationalizing a crime. Here’s the column, in it’s entirety:
“I read about a man who was caught keying a swanky car. A proper full-on swanky car. An Aston Martin V8 Vanquish, if you please.
Do you know what an Aston Martin V8 Vanquish would set you back? Somewhere in the region of £90,000.
Gary Brissett spotted an Aston Martin V8 Vanquish parked outside a supermarket and decided, for no discernible reason, to take his keys from his pocket and run them along the length of the vehicle’s bodywork.
Mindless, pointless vandalism that caused £7,741 worth of damage.
Good for him.
I often feel like keying swanky cars. I particularly feel like keying high-performance cars.
One day someone will buy one of these cars and decide to be the one person to change the reputation of their drivers. They’ll drive it and they’ll be a decent guy.
They’ll go at the speed limit, even when it’s 30mph. They’ll let other cars out in front of them when merging. They’ll obey the two second rule on the motorway.
They won’t race along suburban streets as though the devil’s at their tail. They won’t zoom about, rashly, as though overtaking this one car in front will give them the clear way they need to pelt to wherever they’re going. The wherever that is obviously far more important than anyone else’s destination. The rest of us are just pootling.
Brissett, who is a single father, is now facing a possible prison sentence, which won’t be good for his child. I imagine he’s most likely kicking himself as he prepares for his sentencing date next week.
I hate to generalise but allow me to generalise. You can’t spend more than a house worth on a car and claim the moral high ground.
Surely a chap confident in his man credentials would be happy in a Nissan Leaf, ostentatiously plugging it in to charge at a city centre rapid charging point, winking at the ladies going by as he shows how much he cares about the future of the planet.
In my opinion Brissett deserves a medal, not a prison sentence.”
Initially, I wanted to rationalize Ms. Stewart’s argument. I wanted to see that she was one of the many people that view cars as nothing more than appliances and that she was equating the damage to the Aston Martin as a trivial incident. Instead what I got from her article was an opinionated twit with a soapbox, the kind who only becomes sane and rational once you think, feel, speak and do just like they do. Ms. Stewart obviously does not care that the owner of the V8 Vantage, no matter his income, spent money they earned on something they wanted. It’s not like the guy was doing donuts in the neighborhood and the guy ran out and slashed the door…we’d be more inclined to understand why the incident happened if that were the case. Instead, you have a car…a fancy one, yes, but a car nonetheless…parked in a parking lot, silent, bothering no one except a man from London and a mouth-breather writing for a paper who over-generalizes individuals based upon the car they drive while simultaneously shaming every car owner who doesn’t have a a super eco-friendly ride. The response she has received that I’m able to access was swift and harsh, with some Tweets to her account falling into borderline felony territory in the U.S.
She wrote her thoughts for a paper, and that’s what she is paid to do. Catriona is entitled to her opinion, just like I’m entitled to mine, and you to yours. If she doesn’t like supercars, showy cars, four-wheel-drives, whatever, that’s her issue. But to come out and say that not only did the owner of the Vantage deserve to get keyed, but that the man with the key should get a medal is incredulous, and her line “The level of fancy of the car is in direct proportion to the level of morality of the driver” earns her nothing short of my ire. Catriona Stewart, I don’t expect you to step down from your job, I don’t expect you to stop writing opinion columns. But whatever makes you think that a fancy car is a meter for that individual’s morality makes you and your little opinion irrelevant. Lenny B. Robinson, the “Lamborghini Batman”, used his fancy car at his own expense to bring happiness to children in hospitals. There are gearheads who use the fancy vehicles they have to teach, to influence, to help. And believe me, miss, I know plenty of scum pootling about in a Prius. So do every gearhead, petrolhead, and car enthusiast everywhere a favor and just shut the hell up.
(Thanks to Patrick Morgan for the story tip!)
Scotland – I’ll take a guess at Glasgow or the slightly less salubrious parts of Edinburgh.
The chances are that the owner of the Aston is – how should I say – involved in the supply of certain nefarious powders and will not take kindly to some lunkhead with a baby stroller damaging the result of his hard earned cash.
Prison – there’s more chance of a close encounter with a chainsaw and some hungry pigs!
So next time you have the urge to key a car – check out the area first – see if the car looks seriously out of place and what ever you do make sure you check for a dashboard camera.
The pigs enjoyed their unexpected treat though…..
The paper is out of Scotland. The Aston was keyed in north London.
And now there are two new people to my list of people I want to see hang. Only after they have their finger nails and toe nails pulled off and red hot nails pounded in to replace them.
Yes, key all the cars of the more-money-than-brains crowd!
Get your pitchforks and torches! Rabble Jabble!
It’s behavior likes this that makes insurance rates so high.
That is a truly contemptible column. It seems like she wants to be a Communist revolutionary, the sort who wants to usher in an era where everyone drives slow electric cars because the government determines there is no need for cars above a certain horsepower number and all buildings are ugly gray concrete because adding ornamentation would be a frivolous use of workers’ labor. Never mind whether the workers would prefer to live in an aesthetically pleasing city or whether in practice this would mean that cool cars are still built but only doled out to party members or those with connections.
But what’s more contemptible is that she thinks this society ought to be brought about by destructive crime – and she’s too cowardly to commit these crimes herself and face the consequences. If you do want to make sure the revolution will not be civilized, you must be willing to be a barbarian yourself. She comes across as an armchair Che Guevera, someone who ought to write a book called The Prius Diaries after driving through Paris.
“Armchair Che Guevera” I like that. I’ll have to use it at my community college very soon.
It always bothers me when someone encourages another to take out their aggression on others e.g. people who encourage drivers to take out their aggression on bicyclists.
I agree with your Bryan, I just think you didn’t go far enough in your condemnation of haters.
“I hope you mistake a cactus for a relationship device” might be a bit too harsh, don’t you think?
I’d be interested to see her try
In trying to write this post I’m being (deliberately) sent in a million directions by this purposely inflammatory POS. No sane editor would print this unjustifiably biased column. But they did print it because there is an agenda. I won’t go into what that agenda is here. The purpose is to distract you into being a hissy little wench wasting your time on drivel so they can forward their agenda while you’re distracted. F#ck them, this quagmire and any like it. What don’t they want? A stone cold thousand yard stare carved from wood bad mofo with his or her eye on the prize. All of us please be the latter and do not buy into this shit.
Seems to me that liberals these days are getting more un-restrained and saying what they really think. It’d be my guess that if you took a Sharpie marker and wrote “dumb b*tch” on her forehead, the cost to fix (soap and a few days) would be far less than what it cost to fix the car but her own outrage and victim posturing would go over the top. The real drag is, she’s building her career to be able to get out there and state the things she is and you know she’s influencing a following.
I’ll bet you wouldn’t have got the same reaction in her column if it were a pair of shoes that got scatched.
they guy who did this needs to A, pay for ALL damages to the vehicle B, pay for a rental car for victim while the car is in the shop, C, pay a hefty fine for doing said damage. and the worthless liberal wind bag just needs to keep her pie hole SHUT!!!!!!!!!
WTF ? I have no idea what half of these people just said but in America we say she should get a kick in the twat but beware your foot may end up smelling like the shit house on a Tuna Boat. Excuse me, it’s time for High Tea and crimpets.
How dare some dude earn 90,000 pounds to spend on a car. He should have stayed home instead of being productive. And Aston Martin, what are they thinking, taking that money and giving a substantial part of it to the workers who assembled it, and another large bit to other groups of people that make parts. Everyone should have stayed home, kept what they dad, and of course paid no taxes to the government for all this activity. Then we’d have equality, every person in their hovel with nothing.
Scotland: Wasn’t that where GOLF was invented? Don’t the Scots think that
bagpipes play music? Go figure….
Go figure what? the fucking car was done in London and last time I looked, that was not in Scotland. The stupid bint who wrote this crap was in Scotland, don’t judge a full population on one asshole journalists views. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it we judged you on some twat unrelated to you other thsan by country of residence
Face it boys, she’s got a face like a bag full of smashed assholes so no wonder she was looking to lash out at something.
Read this and saw the camera action via Facebook soon after it happened here in the UK. Felt sorry for the Aston Martin owner. The guy who did this was probably on social security benefits but he had a £1000 pram combination and who paid for that? He wouldn’t have the money to pay for the repair to the car. As for the reporter…… She probably doesn’t have a guy in her life.
The lack of respect for other’s lives and property today’s world is depressing and sad. Maybe if this guy had put less of his energy into jealousy and more into productive work, he would be driving an Aston Martin himself.
Umm… Bryan? You said you wanted to shove her through a wood chipper… understood that statement is hyperbole. How did you take her statements, again?
Interesting that I got this far in the comments before someone pointed out the disconnect between her hyperbole and Bryan’s desire to see her die in a woodchipper. Honestly they’re both unacceptable sentiments, though Bryan’s are worse.
In regards to flashy, fast cars in London, I think most Americans are looking at this from the perspective of comfortable suburban living and not aware that London is now douchebag central, full of Russian mobsters and also suffering from a mass influx of Arab money & values. The middle class have been completely priced out, and even higher tier earners like doctors and lawyers can’t make it unless they’re at the top rung of their professions. I’m not advocating her sentiments, but you should consider that London is rife with industrial-grade assholes the likes of which the United States cannot conceive of. On this one, I’m deferring judgement, and I think the Bangshifters should too.
He got off lightly…
“But he has fortunately avoided prison after owner Oliver Hall said he thought Brissett should be shown leniency in order to care for his son.
When he was questioned by police, Brissett made a “full and frank” admission and told police he had “nothing personal against the vehicle owner.”
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/brit-keyed-aston-martin-avoids-jail-son-article-1.2360722
So…Bangshift is running personal attack articles now?
Classy.
I hope she chokes the next time she slips a little Fiat down the throat.