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Unknown Parts Counter Guy: The Dog Days Of Summer And The Unenjoyable Results Of The Heat

Unknown Parts Counter Guy: The Dog Days Of Summer And The Unenjoyable Results Of The Heat

With temperatures hovering in the mid-90s, humidity at full steam, and the only relief coming in the form of a thunderstorm, summer is wearing out the locals around here. I, for one, only bitch about the humidity…personally, I’d rather be hot and sweaty than cold and freezing my ass off, hovering near a fire. But some people, I swear…it doesn’t matter what season it is…

From one of my former co-workers, paraphrased:

A fairly big lady came in one day to pay for some parts that her husband had ordered over the phone. It’s two p.m. and hotter than hell outside, and even the air conditioning inside just isn’t cutting it today. Go to ring her up, and she realizes that whatever money she had was not in the first pocket she reached for. She started to panic, started checking every pocket on her person, and when she didn’t find her money, she pulled her string-top shirt OUT and DOWN, giving everyone a look at what nobody in their right mind wanted to see. Luckily, after the peep show, she realized she had left her purse in the car, got the money out of the purse and was on her way. 

Here’s what disturbed me more than the random nudity…who, the hell, would stick cash under their chest in the summer heat, then go to pay for something with it?! I don’t care what you look like, boobs sweat. It’s like getting sock money from some old dude who spent half the morning jogging…those dollar bills are coated in stuff so vile that I’m actually retching at the computer writing this. If you dig between the girls for cash, haul your butt home and get the card, because I’m not taking those bills from you. No. I wouldn’t care if I got fired.


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4 thoughts on “Unknown Parts Counter Guy: The Dog Days Of Summer And The Unenjoyable Results Of The Heat

  1. John T

    I’ll go you one better…I was a cab driver for years ( in Australia) – one summer, about 10 AM this chick about 20 with a spectacular body, wearing a one piece swimsuit, flags me down in the city….why shes wearing a swimsuit I have no idea since we’re nowhere near water and she’s utterly, completely shitfaced ( but oh sooo hot.) Anyway, jumps in the car, says I have money somewhere, and starts fishing around her boobs as shes obviously put money down there at some point…I’m transfixed, watching her hand delve lower and lower and the swimsuits getting more and more displaced…she wound up with the swimsuit halfway down her butt, boobs out for the world to see, fishing around in her crutchular region…finally hooks out about $10 worth of, ahem, moist 1 and 2 dollar coins which she deposits into my hand….so I drive her home (literally… what were YOU thinking??) and her mum’s on the doorstep giving me absolute dagger looks as her very hot, very drunk daughter staggers out of the cab while trying to hook her boobs back into the swimsuit ( and exposing previously mentioned ` coin purse’ in the process.) God I used to love driving cabs….

  2. Pizzandoughnuts

    Man that sign made me pop a rib out, my 11-year old came in to see and she wanted to know what boob or sock money was? It made my day, Thank you.

  3. Norse

    At the first punk rock show I ever went to in the 70’s, me and my mates didn’t want to loose our gas money that night. So we put it in the bottom of my buddy Jeff’s boot.
    After a night slam dancing and such we headed home but needed gas for my Falcon. Jeff fished out the cash and instantly regretted taking his boot off (so did we all) and felt bad for handing the $20 to the guy locked in the bullet proof box that passed for the attendant work space.


    December 2008. The Boston, MA area is suffering an ice storm of
    epic proportions. I was lucky, as I was without power “only” two days.
    (Some were without power for weeks!) I promised NEVER to complain
    about summer heat again.

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