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Unknown Parts Counter Guy: If You Take Vehicle Maintenance Advice From Facebook, You Deserve What You Get

Unknown Parts Counter Guy: If You Take Vehicle Maintenance Advice From Facebook, You Deserve What You Get

Would you take dating advice from strangers on Facebook? Shopping advice? Health advice? I hope not. Facebook, the black hole of the Internet, is useful for a few things. It allows you to keep in touch with friends, relatives and loved ones fairly easily when you are far apart. It’s a great source for jokes, memes and cat pictures, and it is full of individuals who have more in common with an apex predator than a human being. They look for easy prey and swoop in to make a kill, and if the world gets to laugh at someone’s folly, all the better.

“Okay, UPCG, WTF are you doing talking about Facebook here? We know what it is, we know what it’s full of.” Here’s why: for every one of us that knows something about cars, there’s at least ten others that don’t know squat. You’re lucky if they can tell you where the damn engine is in the car they drive. They turn the key, put the stick to “D” and step on the pedal on the right and they proceed to pootle along on their merry way. But if something goes wrong, there’s this weird squishy noise as their brain slides out of their ear and they completely lose all sensibility. You want to know why I’m writing this? Here’s why: MORONS ARE TAKING AUTOMOTIVE ADVICE FROM INTERNET MEMES.

brake fluid meme

Courtesy: The Wrenching Network

brake fluid 2You have GOT to be kidding me. I’ve seen the entire page of that work order…someone actually poured coolant into the brake fluid reservoir of a Jeep thinking that they were saving their brakes from freezing up this winter. I have no problem saying that the owner of the Jeep should be faced with one of two options: take a block of classes on auto maintenance (you know, those classes they quit teaching in high schools around 1997?) or be forced to turn in their driver’s license. This is the level things have gotten to: Facebook knows more than the professionals, don’t you know? Don’t believe me? Check out some of the other gems I found during a search…

oil warm windshield defrost icy windshield icy windshield 2 lug nuts

Again, folks: these are MEMES…you know, Internet jokes. They are NOT solid bets for automotive advice. Do not risk your safety, the safety of others, or hundreds or thousands of dollars in vehicle repairs because you are a f***ing dumbass who needs to be beat about the head and shoulders with a tire iron. If you don’t have the humility (and common sense) to ask someone who is in the profession of automotive parts and/or maintenance what the appropriate measures to take are. Or do everyone within a five hundred mile radius of your location a favor: sit your ass back in front of your computer and STAY THERE. There are more cat pictures, we promise.

Don’t tempt fate. You know who you are.

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17 thoughts on “Unknown Parts Counter Guy: If You Take Vehicle Maintenance Advice From Facebook, You Deserve What You Get

  1. ram50boosted

    I was at a salvage yard talking to the owner that I know. after walking around the yard I was in the office talking to him. As a little old lady was walking through the front door he ask me if I found anything I needed, I replied ” Yes i spied 4 cars I needed and could you shrink wrap them so I could put them in the back of my mini van and take them home”. The little old lady looked at the owner and asked you can do that?

    1. Matt Cramer

      That would have been kind of awesome if they were something like BMW Isettas or Subaru 360s. Could probably have got at least one in the van that way.

  2. Nick D.

    There was one saying for traction you should put a bunch of nails in your tire. A few days later someone posed a photo of a tire with every type of nail and screw you could think of jammed into it and they were asking if they had done something wrong because the tire kept going flat.

  3. Sumgai

    Ok, that first one makes me angry. Some moron is going to rear-end me because of that. They won’t have insurance, but they’ll have facebook to post a status update after they hit me.

  4. Davey

    Hey UPCG – you summed up the problem from the start. 90% of the population know nothing about their vehicles. Unfortunately – in this case – from knowledge comes common sense.

    Common sense these days is a rare commodity. Today’s society rely on shallow inconsistent mediums such as Facebook, Twitter and other of this ilk to provide them with guidance, knowledge and comfort… What is posted by Kanye West, Kim K the Long Island Medium or any other dumb-ass of this nature – becomes gospel to these folks.

    The memes in question are a joke and to those of us who know – are totally illogical and because we know better, we find humor in them and those who run afoul of them. (Everyone loves a groin shot…right ? )

    But to the 90% you have singled out – and considering the mind set of today’s society – they can be interpreted as sound advice. No different than a life hack that tells you to use Coke as a rust cleaner, duct tape roll as a cup holder or to use bread clips to label electrical cords.

    Unfortunately it’s a sad reflection on our society that these little bits of humor will hurt people, financially or physically… and it’s only a matter of time before someone gets killed … then the lawsuits start …

    sigh… 🙁

    1. ColinV

      Cool, I pulled a 440 out of a wreck of a New Yorker earlier this month and really ran out of Elbow Grease, now I know where to replenish. Thanks

  5. The Other UPCG

    It may sound sexist but I expect women to know very little about their cars. I expect young drivers to know very little about their cars. I do expect a grown ass man to know SOMETHING about the large metal and plastic projectile they strap themselves into on a daily basis. I see these guys come in every day oblivious to everything and anything automotive. They make me sad but, they help pay my bills. It’s a double edged sword.

    1. Brendan M

      I never assume any man knows anything now a days about cars. Most of these Jersey Shore look-a-like, Metro-pussys are too busy getting pedicures and shaving their balls and assholes to learn how to change a tire.

    2. ThePartsLady

      Yes, it does sound a bit sexist. I work at an auto parts store, and have for over 20 years. I have had both male and female store managers. And some of those female store managers could run circles around those “grown ass men”. But the last part of your comment I totally agree with. It dismays me that there are people that will think those are good advice. In fact, at my store we recently had a poor high school girl that was sent in for blinker fluid and another for muffler bearings. As you said, how sad. I really feel sorry for those girls.

  6. jerry z

    I like the last meme posted, if people really believe these posted memes, its a sad, sad day. Yes they should turn in the drivers license and take public transportation.

  7. TheSilverBuick

    I haven’t liked or commented on a single one of those on Facebook because I don’t trust a decent portion of my friends and family on there to “get the joke” and some maybe very well “knowledgeable” to try some of these.

    “Oh, he liked that, and he knows cars, so it must be true.”

  8. Chris

    You say why are they trusting an internet meme and not professionals, well guess what? The pros know this stuff is fake and post it to be funny. If they aren’t disclaiming that it is fake, then people who know they are a trusted automotive knowledge source, ARE doing exactly what you said. They a trusting a pro. We should be encouraging ALL non-gear heads and trying to educate them instead of ragging on them or putting them down about what they don’t know. If you share these memes, YOU are part of the problem, REGARDLESS of your automotive expertise. We can do better.

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