For every day at the computer that you strive to be your absolute, most helpful and friendly self, there are days where your brain is on a vacation to Aruba while your body would rather be anywhere else. There’s work, then there are boring days at work where the only thing you can do to pass the time is to entertain yourself. Now, this should be done mentally, because having fun on the job tends to be discouraged. (Remember what happened to Bob when he had “fun”? Do you want the fire department back here? Do you? Didn’t think so.)

In lieu of grabbing the new guy and duct-taping him to the hand dolly, maybe instead you might want to try this game: “Good Idea, Bad Idea”. It’s a complete ripoff from an Animanics skit, and it works like this: You know what the proper thing is to say or do when interacting with the customer. And you can claim otherwise until you are blue in the face, but I know that you’re thinking something else altogether while you are on autopilot. So, for those who don’t suffer at the counter, let’s throw out some examples:

1. An attractive member of the opposite sex comes in and asks if you’d be willing to come out for a few minutes and check under their hood to make sure everything is OK.

Good Idea: Sure, Sir/Ma’am, I’d be glad to help. Boss, I’m stepping out for a customer!

Bad Idea: Sure, Sir/Ma’am, I’d be glad to help. Boss, I’m going on lunch, be back in a half-hour!

Now, we have to hand it to our employee here: their attitude is certainly cheerful and helpful. But bailing out of work for a quickie isn’t the right answer…even if your boss is the understanding type. C’mon, man…if they are hot and are picking up someone at the parts counter, you don’t want to go there. Now, let’s check out another example:

2. “Hey, I’ve got a 1984 Renault Fuego, and I need a…”

Good Idea: Oh, that’s gonna be a tough one, but I think I can find that. Let me go check the catalogs…

Bad Idea: WTF? Where did you find one of those? The yard might give you $200, but if you’re serious, the welding wire is on aisle 5, next to the Bondo, and the shop towels you’ll need to dry your tears of frustration with are on aisle 3.

We all have automotive kinks, and just because this person has one of the strangest…and most masochistic…doesn’t mean that they are any different than anybody else. It’s 2017…learn to include others you think are strange. You’ll never believe what you can learn from them. Ok, one more…

3. “I’ve had it with you, with your boss, with the (expletive) parts you sell, all of it! I want my money back, I want the number to the guy in charge of the store, I want the number to his boss, and I want it now!”

Good idea: “Ok, sir, here is my manager’s name and number, my regional manager’s name and number. If you will sign here, I’ll get your refund, and I’m sorry you have had a bad experience with us. I hope we can make it up to you sometime in the future.”

Bad idea: On the paper you handed Mr. Irate, you put The Rejection Hotline’s phone number for the regional manager and Mime On Demand’s phone number as your store manager’s personal cell phone number. Make sure once the customer leaves that you go ahead and mark off some vacation time. You might want to consider heading home early, too.

Remember, folks, you are a representative for The Store, and you are also putting yourself out there as an individual. The counter sucks, but you have to have a shred of professionalism about yourself. You can dream up what you’d really like to say or do, but in the words of Sheriff Buford T. Justice, “Oh, you can think about it…but don’t do it!”