Both Chad and I swear like sailors in normal conversation. For better or worse, it’s how we roll. The funny thing is when even the tidiest mouthed hot rodders get to talking about their cars, racing, or some gearhead related topics, it can get sounding weird to someone who doesn’t know any better.
There are lots of terms out there that would make your grandmother slap you across your face even though they are harmless and when used properly, not profane. Here are our picks for the best 11 of them. As usual, don’t be shy about telling us how bad we screwed up.
The Top 11 Gearhead Terms That Sound Dirty, But Really Aren’t
11) Tunnel Ram: Go ahead and proudly tell someone who knows nothing about cars that, “You slapped a tunnel ram on her.” Let us know how that works out for you
10) Ball Hone: “Once I ran the ball hone up and down a few times, it was nice and smooth to the touch.” We just barfed a little in our mouth.
9) Vacuum Nipple: You’re giggling and that’s ok.
8.) Hole Shot: “I got the hole shot and finished ahead of him.” See what’s happening here to the ears of an uninformed, non-hot rodder?
7) Dykes: We’re not even going down this road, but you can imagine what we’re thinking, and so can’t the nice lady in the work boots over there.
6)Petcock: “I was wrenching on the petcock pretty hard and it snapped off.” If a neighbor hears this, you’ll soon have the police knocking at your door.
5) Prolong Lubricants: These products claim to help increase the life of your engine, not the length of anything. Get you head out of the gutter.
4) Sticky Rubber: Good on the drag strip….bad everywhere else.
3) Port Injection: A far more precise and efficient manner of delivering fuel. We think you’ll agree that throttle body injection can result in all kinds of unintended weirdness.
2) Tranny: Yes, we all know what you mean when telling your pals at the bar that you, “Wrestled with that tranny for three hours last night.” But the ladies three feet away that you’ve been scoping out all night absolutely do not.
1) Banged the Blower: This sounds like some type of miscommunication on the set of an adult film. “Ahhh, Jeez. He banged the blower.”
blew the motor?
That reminded me of this high school conversation after I broke a “hot, screamin'” mill:
Wiseguy 1: “Where’s your car?”
Me: (sounding matter-of-fact like a NASCAR driver) “I blew the engine.”
Wiseguy 2: “Did you burn your lips?”
Injection is Nice ,but I’d rather be Blown.
BTW in the ’80’s when PC went main stream in the USAF we were no longer allowed to use the word “dykes” when we needed a pair of Diagonal Cutters,even though the tool catalog listed dykes as a tool.
And how did Chan-l-locks be come “water pump pliers”?
Another ’80s t-shirt double entendre that was popular among suspension hawkers: “It’s not the meat, it’s the motion.”
(Kids, back in the day, “meats” was slang for tires. Thus, if you told your buds “I got me some fat meats,” proto-Bangshifters (Read: Your grandpa) all knew that you’d just slapped some wide “Indy Profile” L60 or N50 bias-belted tires — probably “mounted” on Cragars, Keystone Klassics or “slot mags” — on the back of your rapidly decaying, jacked-up musclecar. Of course, the long shackles and/or “Hi-Jacker” air shocks required for the “meats” to clear the smallish ’60s fenderwells almost always ruined “the motion.”)
In seventh grade I was the only gearhead in school. I got sent to the principals office because of my Isky Cams tee shirt. They didn’t know what it meant, but they were certain it was inappropriate.
what, you forgot Purple Shaft?
Purple Hornies, also I got mine from a Direct Connection.
A friend of mine’s e-mail address is trannyjerk@….com I still laugh when I send him an e-mail
Bang Shift.
While at the store wearing a BS T shirt, a lady accused me of having profanity on my shirt. I didnt bother explaining the meaning. She wouldnt get it anyways. So, I accused her of having her mind in the gutter. I got a “Why I never….” as she left with her nose pointed at the sky.
I’m sure she hasn’t…
Blown and injected
Out of the groove
Stroked and poked?
I can’t believe you didn’t include “dingle ball hone.”
-Brad
Holeshot
Diaper (used by Nitro cars)
Foul Start (redlight)
poked and stroked?–he’s got big meats—“she’s not much on the bottom,but great on top(end)”,or reversed,”she’s great on the bottom,but nothing on top”
my wife overheard a snippet of my phone conversation with a gearhead buddy about header quality, explaining how “I’ve always had good luck with Hookers”. Had to explain that one…
If you want more inches, stroke it….
Stroked and blown was always my favorite. Also, explaining to someone that BS stands for Bang Shift, I usually get “What the hell were you searching for when you found that?!”
Bumpstick=camshaft
I cracks me up to listen to nascar race commentary, eg. theres Joey Lagono on top and Kyle Bush coming on the bottom. lmao