As many of you know, there is a massive snow storm that is going to batter most of the eastern seaboard over the course of the next few days. From places like the Carolinas right up through good ol’ Boston, the white stuff, wet stuff, and sloppy stuff will fly. The commute in a small amount of snow for Washington DC residents turned into a living hell the other day and that was just an appetizer. This time, it will be for real and since the vast majority of people cannot drive for beans during warm and sunny conditions, they sure as hell cannot operate in adverse weather.

As a public service we have gathered the videos below to show you how not to drive, how not to react, and generally how not to act in an automobile in the snow and ice. There are some simple principles that everyone and their brother forgets once the snow starts and they are pretty easy to remember:

1.) SLOW THE HELL DOWN – To do this properly, slow the hell down. 

2.) LEAVE MORE FRIGGING ROOM IN FRONT OF YOU – To do this you simply leave more space between you and the car in front of you. How does this work? Refer to pro tip number 1. 

3.) DRIVE ON ALL SEASONS OR SNOW TIRES ONLY – This requires a small amount of technical knowledge but the reality is that if you decide to venture out into the snow on a high performance summer tire, you are numb and you are going to become everyone else’s problem. All season tires are not great but better than the summer stuff and a true winter tire will have you feeling like a boss. Just REFER TO RULES ONE AND TWO.

4.) UNDERSTAND THAT FOUR WHEEL DRIVE DOES NOT HELP YOU STOP – Oh, cool! Your CUV has all wheel drive or maybe even bad ass four wheel drive? That’ll help your lazy ass out of the driveway without shoveling but it will not help stop two tons on ice when you are driving way to damned fast. Every shiny SUV owner forgets this. 

5.) WHEN YOU LOCK THE BRAKES YOU CANNOT TURN – Most people are driving stuff with ABS now but if you are not, remember that only turning wheels will steer a car. If you are sliding and you just press the brake harder, it will not help the car stop faster. Pump the brakes and make an evasive maneuver to save your own ass. If doing this you are likely breaking rules one though four!

6.) JUST STAY HOME – You are an important person that does important things and your job is completely essential to the national security of the country. Oh, it isn’t. Stay off the roads so the plow guys can do their jobs and the fireman/cops aren’t having to drag you out of a ditch somewhere. 

Now that I have gotten all that off my chest, let’s watch some people who couldn’t drive a nail in bad weather. In truth the majority of this stuff is likely happening because of poor tires selection, poor tire maintenance, too much speed, and a complete lack of understanding for even basic vehicle dynamics. Yes, diving on the brakes in the middle of a corner un bad conditions with crummy tires will actually cause you to spin. Yeesh!

Press play below to see what we’re talking about – DO NOT DO THIS STUFF!