BangShift Daily Tune Up: Lincoln Park Pirates – A Ballad About Chicago’s Most Infamous Towing Company


BangShift Daily Tune Up: Lincoln Park Pirates – A Ballad About Chicago’s Most Infamous Towing Company

(By Greg Rourke) – In 1972 Steve Goodman wrote this little ditty about a Chicago towing company, Lincoln Towing. They are actually Protective Parking Services, d.b.a. Lincoln Towing. Their entire business is removing illegally parked cars from private parking lots, at no cost to the lot owners. No road service, no hauling your broken car to the shop.

While this may seem a bit harsh, you need to understand the parking situation in Chicago, particularly the North Side, where they do most of their business. It was all built before there were any cars, so parking wasn’t figured in to the plan. There is lots of touristy stuff and nightlife there, so lots of cars coming to the area and not lots of places to park them. If you live in a building fortunate enough to have a parking lot and you come home to a suburbanite parked in your spot, you’d be a tad upset. If you build a grocery or Walgreens and include parking, you want your customers to be able to park there, not hipsters frequenting a local watering hole. So you’d contract with Lincoln.
They are very efficient. Some folks think they can beat the system by parking in a lot, going in to buy a pack of gum, and then walking away to another business. But the walls have eyes, and Lincoln can have your car on a wheel lift in under 10 seconds. Signs are posted everywhere, the rates are clearly posted. Of course they charge the maximum fees allowable. Arguing with a Lincoln driver will get you nowhere. They weren’t hired based on their skills at baking cookies.
  Here at BangShift we’re big fans of old school wreckers, with cables, chains, slings and whatnot. Lincoln Towing has no time for such nonsense. They use hydraulic wheel lift trucks, all controls at the drivers fingertips in the cab. Recently a reporter interviewed a Lincoln driver and was asked to demonstrate how he snags his  victims. The reporters Honda was snatched from a parking spot in 7 seconds. Brian couldn’t do that with Brutus even if the brakes did work.
Shockingly, their Yelp reviews are all one star. Most start with “I know I was illegally parked, but…” They’ve been the subject of many newspaper editorials. Lawsuits against them mostly fail. They have occasionally been proven wrong, and fees refunded, but if they tow you there is no way you’re getting your car back without first coughing up their towing and storage fee. The founder was known for keeping bats and chains hanging from his office wall to intimidate anyone who dared confront him.
As Goodman sang in 1972, no one can make them shut down. It’s still true today.

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3 thoughts on “BangShift Daily Tune Up: Lincoln Park Pirates – A Ballad About Chicago’s Most Infamous Towing Company

  1. Matt Cramer

    If I was a parking lot owner looking for a towing service to get unauthorized cars, I’d probably regard five star reviews on Yelp as a bad sign.

  2. Lynn Minthorne

    I had the pleasure ? of having my van towed once at the condo complex that my friend lived at. I was taking care of the place while she was moving. I had left my van parked in visitors parking and I got sick and did not get back when I had planned. The towed it and it cost me almost $200 to get it back AND they damaged it to the tune of $500. Sued them in court and won !!!

  3. Anthony

    Ha catchy tune!! Hook and book!! Guy must have made a fortune!! Here in NY you have Don Glo and RJT to do this deed!

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