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How To Sell A Crapbox Pontiac Grand Am, Lesson One: Honesty Is Your Friend!

How To Sell A Crapbox Pontiac Grand Am, Lesson One: Honesty Is Your Friend!

Pontiac had many highs during it’s lifetime: the Safari, the GTO, the Firebird, even the Can-Am and the G8. While the company occasionally strayed into Brougham territory, overall their mission of providing driving excitement was fulfilled. But that was a double-edged sword…for every good car that Pontiac cranked out, there was an equally horrible rolling offense to good judgement waiting in the wings. While many are quick to throw the eye-bleach-worthy Aztek onto the pyre for being the worst of the worst, the fifth-generation Grand Am is right up there. A combination of automotive indifference, GM laziness and Tupperware combined to make an absolutely forgettable vehicle, one whose body cladding was ribbed for nobody’s pleasure.

As these N-bodies continue to disappear off of the earth, the ones that are left alive generally aren’t loved or cared for. Instead, they are destined to be daily beaters in the most true sense of the word. To earn their right to live, they have to start and drive with minimal work from the owner, and when they become too much to bother with, it’s off to either Craigslist or the scrapyard. At least with Craigslist, this Grand Am sedan has the chance to live one more life, maybe as a Lemons racer. That’ll be a fitting end to a car that was always destined for mediocrity.

***CLEAN TITLE*** For sale is my piece of shit Grand Am. Thank the designers at Pontiac because this car drives like it was designed and built by a blind hobo. It starts, runs, and rolls down the road under its own power. The radio works. The transmission shifts. Beyond that, this thing sucks. 50% of the windows go up and down. It murdered a deer (see front right fender) last fall. All headlights, tail lights, and turn signals work. The brakes pads are shot. The battery is on it’s way out. Tires are okay, will last the summer. The spoiler does absolutely nothing. The exterior trim is falling off (see pictures). The auto door locks work. It does blow cold A/C, and the heater will make you feel like you have landed on the surface of the sun. Come out and test drive it. You will hate it. But if you need a cheap car to get you from point A to point B, this 2002 Pontiac Grand Damn Shit-Sedan is your car. I don’t want a trade, I don’t want $350.00, I don’t even want $395.00 This pile of shit costs $400.00, and I won’t take a penny more either, because it ain’t worth $400.01.

E-mail/text me

Proud Owner,

– Kevin

Craigslist Link: Kevin’s POS Pontiac Grand Am 

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6 thoughts on “How To Sell A Crapbox Pontiac Grand Am, Lesson One: Honesty Is Your Friend!

  1. jerry z

    Talk about a car being driven into the ground! For $400 it would make a perfect summer beater. The A/C works, what more do you need!

  2. C.M. Bendig

    All Grand Am’s shed the moldings. Stupid plastic trim clips can not cope with the abuse, car washes, and water freezing behind them. Pontiac Bonneville & Grand Prix’s suffer the same fate.

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