Lohnes hates DeLoreans and Thunderbirds with more than two seats, Chad gets mild allergies when he’s near anything non-GM, and I passionately loathe Ford Granadas, Mercury Monarchs and Lincoln Versailles. In my eyes, those three mid-size FoMoCo products were the most blatant form of “eh, F— it” ever displayed by a manufacturer, and that includes GM rebadging. The plan was simple: at first, Ford was going to replace the Ford Maverick/Mercury Comet with the Malaise trio, but because the Maverick/Comet sold well, Ford just went ahead and cranked out both. The underpinnings and most of the engine choices dated back to the 1960 Ford Falcon and the theme was 1970s “luxury”, which was code-speak for super fluffy, super upright, and dismal performance.
I personally would not be sad if this 1980 Mercury Monarch wound up with a GMC TopKick dropped on it from a great height, but I’m not a completely irrational man. To be fair, somehow this testament to Ford’s wayward days has managed to make the last thirty-seven years easy and pampered, because this is one of the nicer examples I’ve seen. Bordello Red certainly works all over the car (beats Banana Cream tan, for sure) and the inline six should at least be durable, if not powerful. For $3,500, you’d get running, driving, rarely seen and easy to maintain.
Could you come up with a reason not to own it if you’re on a Ramen budget? We’d spring for new wheels and tires and general maintenance costs, but wouldn’t mess with anything else. Except me…I’ll walk, thank you.
Craigslist Link: 1980 Mercury Monarch
(Thanks to HillbillySailor for the tip…I think.)
Cut two coils on all four corners and throw on some 15×8’s and used Goodyear slicks. Non-stop autocross giggles.
Ok, I’ll be first. Another example of a car we wouldn’t touch with a barge pole twenty five years ago, but would happily drive to the local cruise night.
Even though I would rather have something from GM, or even a Ford Maverick, cars like this have a certain appeal. The “Luxury” wheel covers are even nice; I could drive it just as it is. They are only original until somebody turns it into a rolling turd.
The Lincolns had disc brake 9 inch rears if I recall correctly- add a 302/4R70W or 5/6 speed manual and you have a comfortable cruiser that weighs 3200 ish pounds. Mini tubs and some gears what’s not to like? Most anything that you can pick up in the aftermarket for its “sister” platforms should be a bolt in.
This is a great candidate for a makeover underneath! Its always a great day when you don’t have to do any metal or body work (at least for me anyway)!