The behemoth that is a late 1970s Lincoln Continental four-door sedan is something to behold. Just like the pre-1977 GM full-sizes, and the Imperials and New Yorkers from Chrysler, the Continental and Town Car were five-thousand pound sleds that had all the performance benefits of a bank vault while being as pampering inside as a Mafioso could ever want one to be. Today, they are a relic into the past, where “bigger is better” truly was the way of life, but as for something you’d really want to own and drive? No thanks, we’re good. These yachts were saddled with smog-choked big-block Fords and had the shipping weight of a small island. What on earth would we want a derby-ready limo for?

You can thank Shannon Sykes for sending me this 1977 Lincoln flatbed, because he just answered a question nobody thought to ask. Yes, Lincoln has done trucks: the Mark LT is a trimmed-up F-150 and the Blackwood was a Navigator nose on an F-150 with the bed converted into a kind of trunk. This Town Car, on the other hand, looks like a farmer with an engineering degree and a bad back built the work vehicle of his dreams. What this needs is a fifth-wheel. Yes, it does…it’s a good idea. A fifth-wheeled Lincoln Town Car roaming the highways is the ultimate retiree-mobile. Just cruise to wherever you want to go, unload and set up the trailer at Key Largo, and cruise on down to the beach in style and grace, the kind only Lincoln could bring.

Craigslist Link: 1977 Lincoln Continental Town Car