Why the hell is a steel-gray Chrysler Newport four-door on the front page of BangShift today? Easy: it’s freaking winter. That means that the “toy” is put up, and it’s time to bring out the ugly one…you know, the car that is more durable than pretty. It looks rougher than a trucker in the middle of a month-long haul, smells just about the same, and other than the fact that it works, every day, without fail, there isn’t much more to the deal. Lohnes likes his big trucks and I like what my family had dubbed “war cars”: looks be damned, it’ll start, run, and drive on, over, or directly through whatever in the hell is in the way. Deer? Whoops…free venison! Three-foot snowdrift? This monster will clear a path! Look…my weakness for mid-70s Mopars is very well-documented here, but the only thing I could possibly want to save are those seats for some interesting man-cave furniture. Or you could put them on eBay and recoup at least half of the cost of the car, and if the running gear makes it through Spring, there’s the other half of the cost! Mopar
hoarders collectors are a curious bunch and will pay for it. The running gear is straightforward and stout: 400ci, 727 automatic, and enough weight to make sure the car finds the roadway. Oh, and enough bumper to make small impacts nothing and larger impacts nothing for you to worry about. Sure, your all-wheel-drive SUV or crossover will get you there, but nothing will get you there with more fun than a C-body bomber! What kind of fun would you have with a big cheap Chrysler?