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The WTF? Files: Somebody Turned A Chevrolet SSR Into A Reptile


The WTF? Files: Somebody Turned A Chevrolet SSR Into A Reptile

It’s hard to like the Chevy SSR. It’s a cynical mashup of a 1950 Chevy pickup, an El Camino, a Corvette, a TrailBlazer, and a Chrysler Sebring convertible: Individually, they were all decent enough vehicles, but by their powers combined, they became absolutely craptacular. The SSR wasn’t a bad vehicle, just a bad execution of a vehicle. It was difficult to hide the handling characteristics of the TrailBlazer platform, and even with the LS2 6.0 V8 and a six speed, you couldn’t get past the fact that you were driving a cartoony imagining of a “hot rod”. Even guys in Plymouth Prowlers felt better about their choice.

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Then someone took a look at this 6000-mile 2005 LS2/six speed  SSR after dropping acid and decided that it would look better as a freaking dinosaur. Seriously. The entire front clip was reworked to resemble the snout of a dinosaur (I think), with the opening reworked to house the toothy new grille, the hood reworked to include a ram-air snout system, and second-gen Neon headlights with reptile-eye covers frenched in. Out back, smaller taillights were swapped in and a spoiler was added that looks like the last few inches of Swamp Thing’s foot after it was painted yellow. Hell, the whole thing is yellow! Too hard to go with a traditional reptile color, like silver, or green? Nope, dinosaurs were “Screamin’ Yellow Zonker” yellow, I guess. By sheer mercy did the interior escape the dinosaur treatment.

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I never, ever thought I would feel bad for an SSR. To me they are a platform donor in need of a new body. But this…seriously, this is bad. I’m hard pressed to think of a worse custom in recent memory than this. Somebody buy this, place ANY car shell on the platform and run the rest of the body through a shredder before any more unsuspecting victims require the eye bleach treatment.

If you’re masochistic enough to want more, Click Here to see it’s listing on Cars.com. Don’t blame me for your nightmares.

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10 thoughts on “The WTF? Files: Somebody Turned A Chevrolet SSR Into A Reptile

  1. mooseface

    The only good SSR is one that’s on fire.
    GM owes the world a very sincere public apology for that disgusting assemblage of crap.

  2. Gregg68

    That dealership has 12 other SSRs. They describe themselves as “the largest SSR dealer in the world.” I believe that’s called a “spin.”

  3. WhiteThunder93

    Funny thing is, the original panels can just be bolted right back in…the tail lights would require excessive body work to return to stock

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