If any of you ever have listened to an Earl Pitts rant on the radio, then think of me as the younger, more hot rod centric version.
You know what makes me go “WTF?!” What ads piss me off so much that I just want to walk out into the shop and hit my own thumb with a ball peen hammer? Repeatedly. Stupid ass people that post stupid ass ads on Craigslist for things they pretend to want to sell but aren’t actually interested in selling, that’s what.
If I won the lottery I would devote at least a few hours per month answering these Craigslist and eBay ads and going out and waisting the sellers time acting like I wanted their crap. I’m poor, so I won’t, but if I had money, I would. Stupid bastards.
Here is an example of the ad that pisses me off. This one is on Craigslist right now in SoCal and is advertising what on the surface could be a cool car based on what make and model it is, not the ad posted. I have no idea what the one in this particular Craigslist ad looks like since the idiot didn’t put a picture up.
Here is the complete ad. I’ll bitch more after you read it. 
Let me rant…
Testing the waters? Really? WTF! Grow a pair and either sell your shit or keep it! We don’t care, that’s up to you. Testing the waters. My god that’s the stupidest thing you can ever say when selling something. As a guy who sells a lot, I can tell you that nothing in the world would make me happier than to bone this guy for the craziest deal ever and actually have him thank me for taking this car off his hands. Dude, come on!
No rush? Really? I would have never guessed! The incredible creativity and sales acumen you have used in your ad clearly says otherwise!
I’ve got an offer you can’t refuse. How about I give you half of what you are asking and you don’t get beaten for being an idiot. OR…I’ll give you half plus $500 but you have to take the beating. How is that for an offer you can’t refuse?
Hi output oil filters make power.
It’s been in a collision and the right rear quarter panel has been impacted. Hmmm. PICTURES!!!!!
The interior needs work, and the seats and rear bench are dismantled is the first clear and concise thing in this ad. Kudos to you dude, you got two lines right!
Tires are worn out. Way to go dude. You give us no details on your car and then the ones you do give are the ones that make everyone not want it. I’m going to give you a sales lesson here in a minute. I hope you are reading.
The fact that the engine doesn’t start sucks, but may not be the end of the world. The fact that it has to have premium in it sucks for most folks but makes a car guy drool. So take advantage of that! Write it like you care and want to sell it!
Where are the pictures. Where are the pictures. Where are the pictures. Where are the pictures. Where ar…. sorry. My fingers wouldn’t stop typing. Even they are pissed at this guy!
If you can find Craigslist, you can also use Google. Here is what you search if you want to know how to post a Craigslist ad to sell your car, dog, wife, whatever. How to post an ad on Craigslist That’s it. Super easy. Put that in the search window on Google and you get a jillion different ways to learn how. First is the one from Craigslist that walks you through it like you are a 75 year old stoned hippy with the IQ of a Beagle. If you aren’t much for reading, there are about a jillion videos on the subject as well, because clearly a million of them wasn’t enough.
Here is the ad I would have put up if I were this dude. I’m going to use a 1973 Camaro as my example.
1973 Camaro: Easy project, Needs Some Work, New High Performance Engine $4000
Newly rebuilt high compression 350. All machine work and assembly done by L&R Engines. New Pistons, Rods, Rings, Bearings, Camshaft, and more. This engine makes great power, with daily driver reliability, but will require 91 octane fuel.
The Camaro’s body is rust free and straight except for the right rear quarter panel which was hit by my grandma when she pulled in for Easter Sunday dinner. It is fixable, and will not require a new quarter panel. I have received estimates of $800 to fix the quarter panel and have it ready for paint.
The wiring in this car is good, as is all the plumbing, suspension, etc. The interior is it’s weakest feature, but the bones are there and good. With a new foam and seat covers kit, along with a new headliner and door panels, this car can be very nice inside.
Well worth the asking price, as I have more than that in the engine and other parts. It’s a great deal for a rust free 1973 Camaro and will make a great project for someone. Fathers and sons should grab this one and make a cool hot rod out of it. I won’t give it away, so please be serious if you come to look at it. Phone calls are free. Text, call or email works to reach me, whichever you prefer. Chad: 214.876.4316 [email protected]
There are 6 photos in this ad, I have more available via text or email if you need them.
Was that really that hard? It could be done in bullet points too, but make the things positive? Anyone want to buy my imaginary 1973 Camaro? I’ll cut you a great deal.
Now that I’m done ranting, please help us help the world by getting rid of crappy Craigslist ads. You can do it! And if you are about to put an ad up on Craigslist, and want it reviewed by the experts here at BangShift.com, just email me the copy and I’ll give you my opinion. Hell, write up a funny one we can post and I just might send you some BS schwag.
Hey Chad ! Wanna save yourself a ton of unnecessary and unneeded aggravation ? Not to mention cut way the ___ back on your Excedrin /JD bill ? Along with not potentially winding up getting scammed by some unscrupulous seller ?
STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO E-Bay , Craigslist etc and buy local , recommended [ by a very trusted friend/family member ] or Do Without * !!! Period !!!
Either that or keep up with the futile ranting about the @$&hats online trying sell – or not sell you something which may or may not be as advertised ..
In which case may I highly recommend a good Cardiologist as well as establishing a positive relationship with your local Pharmacy … not to mention finding a good Therapist/Psychologist close by as well
Cause son…. at the rate y’alls going … you’ll be needing all of the above .. much sooner than later I’m afraid
Futile ranting usually being the first signs of a cardiac event – complete mental breakdown – worse yet .. early onset senility – or all of the above .
* gee … now there’s a novel thought . Doing without . Hmmmn ..
I agree that buying local is a solution. Problem is, nobody advertises in any other method than Craigslist anymore, or at least in my area. Half the stuff I’ve gone to look at has been parked behind the house or doesn’t have a For Sale sign, so you wouldn’t even know that it was for sale, short of seeing it on Craigslist. It got so bad around here that the Swap Sheet, after 35 years of being in business, stopped printing because everybody was posting on Craigslist.
Slinger, I take it you have a relationship with the above mentioned Cardiologist as well as a good Therapist/Psychologist? Given the amount of ranting and proselytizing you seem to do here at this website, I figure you are handing out first hand advice. Yes? Unsolicited opinions on the net are like just like an a-holes……everyone has one; some just stink more than others. Please stop trying to get people to sniff yours.
GuitarSlinger, you done? Go pat yourself on the back keyboard warrior.
Guarantees no one will call or email him on the car. But he can tell wife he did try to sell it.
If a car is seriously beat up and doesn’t run… is it good for anything other than entertaining dreamers?
I TRIED to buy 2nd gen Trans Am I found on Craigslist. It needed a ton of work, but the price was right. I TRIED and TRIED to buy it….the guy wasn’t sure if he wanted to sell it. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!
I see these ads all the time, they drive me nuts
i”m with ya chad,craigslist ads can be some of the worst!–testing the waters,no emails(seriously? so the web is fine for posting,but not for replying?)–i know what it’s worth(and then no price listed)–boneheads who can’t even clean out the crap IN the car,or totally obscuring the outside of the car—another personal favorite of mine is the incorrect spelling of even the most basic words—or a 3 word description—geez,the ad is free,they’re not charging you per word,so put something in there!!
I got it every body Phone HIM , Text HIM .
Every day every hour and open with I’m just dreaming but can I have a look ? and then when your # is blocked do the same with the wives phone and then the kids phone , friends phone 🙂
If you get voice mail ‘ read the whole add back to him and then say I’m just dreaming but ! ?
Would that stop that sh#t ?
I recently posted an ad for some parts, listing what was for sale, it seems like most of the response has been for stuff not listed, advice, take stuff apart (make useless) and sell one little part, people are insane!! Have pulled the ad, will shop them locally or cut up and sell for scrap. Small stuff not worth the frustration. NO MORE Ebay, CRAIGSLIST or car club websites for me. (odd english car parts) Yes everyone want stuff for free, then pay shipping—REALLY
Down here in NC I see a lot of ads with NO TITLE. Being originally from Jersey, that is a big red flag for me and just go on to the next ad.
Chad, I’m with you on these dumb ass people with no writing skills. Hell they don’t have a brain to learn any writing skills!
No the worst is 1970 lemans GTO 350 with turbo 350 this thing is a beast! Needs paint, bench seat redone only on drivers side blah blah blah
12,000.00 obo firm I know what I have and don’t bother trying to lowball me
That’s the worst esp if your looking for a GTO
Got a pickup off Craigslist , got a bill of sale , guy tells me , he’s going to the bank in the morning to get the title 5 weeks later still waiting on title , contact state they check title . the guy I got it from never had it in his name , but the name its in , the state has a hold on it for back child support , got ahold of the cops they are looking for the guy , he has warrants out on him . So now I have to take the guy to court to get my money back , the chance of that happening don’t look good , so I’m out 1500.00 bucks . Screw Craigslist , my fault for being that stupid for taking a bill of sale , not knowing the state will not take it ‘
Nice rant Chad . Buying of the net Sucks in the first place ….. To easy to get burned . If I ever need a ” Rant Writer ” You’re hired ….. lol
Yeah, try dealing with the idiots who want to BUY a car.
I posted an ad and left an email address. Nearly every person who responded said,
“Is the car still for sale? Please call me: 551-555-5151.”
Ughhhhhh. If I wanted to communicate by phone, I would have left my phone number.
Here’s what ya do if you want to buy on Craigslist.
Don’t answer ads without pictures. These are usually pure crap piles.
Buy only local cars that you can get to and look at within an hour.
Never make a commitment to buy anything before you see it.
Call and talk to he seller on the phone. Don’t text or e-mail.
If they sound fishy, like they avoid answering questions directly, hang up.
When you get to where the car is, talk to the seller face to face, and see the car then make the decision to buy or walk away.
Have the cash in case ya decide to buy.
I’ve got some decent cars this way. And I’ve also seen some piles of crap that should bee in the scrap yard. This is usually from answering ads without pictures.