The grandson of the man credited for inventing the “100mpg carb” decades ago, has disappeared after unveiling a revolutionary fuel injection system that claimed to allow modern cars to achieve 1,000mpg. It appears he has suffered the same fate of his grandfather whose invention so scared the major oil companies that they captured him in the dark of night and he was never seen again.
Blurry photos of the system have been shown to local engineers and scientists who have come up with their own theories, “That setup is total horseshit,” said Dr John Balding, a 34-year mechanical engineer. “Seriously, if any oil company saw the photos I just saw and truly believed that this kid invented a legitimate way for an internal combustion to achieve that level of efficiency, they should be shut down immediately because their management is probably too dumb to tie their own shoes. My four year old son was blowing holes in that mess.”
The inventor’s grandmother said, “My husband drank a lot, and I mean a lot. There were nights when he came upstairs from his workshop and started yelling about creating the 100 fart per mile carburetor, or the 100 beer per mile carburetor. There were other nights when he just drank himself silly down there doing God knows what. All I know is that my Buick had that shitty carburetor on it and wouldn’t get out of it’s own way. Do you have any idea how embarassing it is for a 455 to be blown off by a four cylinder Chevy Vega?”
The young man who created the supposed EFI system is no stranger to the local law enforcement. “He’s the only person in the history of this town to get caught twice in the same day selling oregano as weed,” said officer JB Law. “This kid is dumber than a bag of hammers. He’s probably in the woods drinking warm Milwaukee’s Best with his idiot friends.”
Repeated cell phone calls to the inventor’s number have gone unreturned. BangShift has obtained this photo of the fuel injection system: