Enjoying summer yet? We hope so…as we chug water like we used to chug adult beverages in college just to sweat it out two minutes later, we are roaming the country and losing weight the BangShift way (slow-roasting at a racetrack or car show! It really does work!) While something like a cool slice of watermelon or an iced-down mojito might hit the spot, all we have this time around is a bit of Scrapple for you. We can throw it on the grill and pour on some BBQ sauce, if you’d like…

1. Best insomnia in years!

Ever go out on a drive to clear your head, to calm down or to just relax? Maybe you aren’t able to sleep, so you take to the roads and drive until you’re ready for a nap. Last June, a 79-year-old Belgian woman did just that…she got into her Porsche Boxster GTS and went for a drive to, as translated from Gazet Van Antwerpen, “take a ride to clear my head.”

Now, on it’s own there is no fault with that. But when she blew past a speed trap at 147 miles an hour, that’s when problems started to crop up. For her fast-acting sleep aid, she was fined €4,000 and has lost her driving privileges for three months.

2. FXXK, that hurt!

Fun fact: You see that fin on top of the psychopathic track-only Ferrari? It has a flashing light inside of it. If it’s pulsing green, you are safe. If it’s pulsing red, you will get hit with 480 volts of electricity. CarThrottle’s Alex got the lesson when he got to ride in one of these mind-benders at Goodwood:

3. It’s like winning the lottery…but with a jail sentence attached.

Three months after the first reports started coming out about Ford Fusions coming up from the Hermosillo, Sonora, Mexico plant with packages of marijuana stuffed in the cars, family sedans with a strange new car smell are apparently still a problem. Ford is working with the Drug Enforcement Agency to determine who is fitting the optional equipment into the Fusions before they head over the border and are actively searching cars as they come into dealerships. Recently, over a million dollar’s worth of the green stuff was found in a shipment of cars in Ohio.

4. Just what the world needs…more acronyms.

To you, me, and anyone with a modicum of sense, Ferrari is working on their first SUV. It will be similar in vein to the GTC4Lusso (pictured) and will more than likely be a four-door. Ferrari, however, has publicly claimed that neither would ever be built. So what is “Project F16X”? We can’t make this up: It’s an FUV, a “Ferrari Utility Vehicle”. And that’s not some clever quip…that’s actual Ferrari lingo. Why not call just go the simple route and call the vehicle a Ferrari Utility? Simple, easy to understand, and addresses the vehicle’s place in the market while avoiding the stigma that comes with the SUV moniker. Or, if it’s going to be a hybrid, maybe they can go with “Utility, Ferrari (with) KERS”.

5. Finally, “smart” technology.

After narrowly dodging a Lincoln Aviator that nearly took the nose off of Angry Grandpa a couple of days ago due to the topic at hand (I saw you drop your phone, dude) this bit of news is welcome: one of the features coming out with Apple’s iOS 11 update for is deactivation of notifications and a system that detects if the phone is in a moving vehicle. This is designed to curb the desire to check the phone when it makes a noise and to make it a pain in the ass to unlock as a driver. It won’t impede such functions as USB connectivity for music or other items, and a passenger will be able to easily unlock the phone.

This is what it’s come to. Smartphone manufacturers have had to do this because “responsible adults” can’t stop playing with their phones.