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Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-worthy News! This Week: Crash Testing Advancements, Angry Germans, And More!


Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-worthy News! This Week: Crash Testing Advancements, Angry Germans, And More!

Just when your stomach had finally recovered from the damaging effects of Thanksgiving, Black Friday and the total cost of Junior’s ten packages under the tree…and all of the batteries and chargers that they will invariably need…we here at BangShift decided that it was time for another round of Scrapple our way: roasted scraps of leftover news blurbs that deserve a once-over, for better or worse. And there’s a couple of doozies in this pile, so get that hot sauce ready!

1. Eight states, four European countries and Quebec are going to ban sales of internal-combustion engines by 2050.

smug

Per Car and Driver, by 2050 you will not be able to get a vehicle with an internal-combustion engine in the following locales: California (go figure), Connecticut, Maryland, Massachusetts, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, Quebec, Germany, the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, and Norway. Why? C&D’s Clifford Atiyeh sums it up best: “Total global vehicle emissions will be cut 40 percent, sea levels and temperatures will drop, extreme weather will be tempered, and we’ll all live longer, healthier, safer lives because our brave politicians care about our planet.” If you believe that steaming load of bullshit, I’ve got a nice, relatively well-used Volkswagen diesel that didn’t have the cheater software installed…I’ll sell it to you for a decent price.

2. Complained of odd squeaks, rattles and the Phil Collins CD stuck in the deck…

BM

“Caveat emptor”, or “buyer beware”, is the name of the game when hunting down a used car. You have no idea what happened to the vehicle before you found it on a used lot and figured out that you couldn’t walk away. At least, one Brit figured it out: 27 year old Rob Willis had recently purchased a used BMW M3…actually, the M3 pictured above. Except that’s not him driving in that screen cap…that is none other than the BBC’s headache himself, Jeremy Clarkson, hooning the BMW for a test. Since the plates on a car in the UK are with the car for life, all it took for Willis to figure out why his BMW had more squeaks, rattles and brake noise than a well-beaten cheap rental car was to watch a rerun of TopGear. The dealer that sold him the car took it back and gave him a BMW 330d and some freebies for the hassle.

3. Scratch that RWD Lamborghini Aventador off of the Christmas List…Lamborghini won’t make it. Ever.

Aventador

It’s almost like Ralphie in “A Christmas Story”: You want the ultimate edition of one of the ultimate cars made, the Italian doorstop from Hell itself, the Lamborghini Aventador, but you want it in rear-wheel-drive because you can handle it. Well, Lamborghini doesn’t think anyone can handle that kind of power with just two wheels, and has put their foot down, because you’ll wrap yourself around a telephone pole, kid.

4. Germans are angry that Americans called out VW’s cheating ways and respond via YouTube video:

Honestly, they have a point with the stupid-ass coal rolling, but we also didn’t make lofty promises that were only obtainable when we broke major laws when it comes to our powerful trucks, either, so Leck mich am Arsch.

5. New crash test systems are being proposed from the NHTSA: Now with pedestrian impacts in mind!

pedestrian test

In short: pedestrian impact tests similar to what the EuroNCAP has been doing for a few years now, rear seat passenger safety in head-on collisions (they weren’t doing that already?!), an angled front-impact test, new test dummies for “more realistic results”, and testing that incorporates the autonomous safety features instead of just noting them. This is a proposal and you can bet that manufacturers are going to have a lot to say about this one. Our take: we like the idea of thinking about the rear-seat passengers, and the new dummies and impact test are fine, but we were taught to not play in fast traffic. The seriously worrying issue is an NHTSA grade being dependent on autonomous features…that can have consequences throughout the automotive market.


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9 thoughts on “Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-worthy News! This Week: Crash Testing Advancements, Angry Germans, And More!

  1. Chevy Hatin' Mad Geordie

    Ban internal combustion engines?

    Does that include the emergency diesel generators found in most hospitals?

    So how many people’s deaths will the tree-huggers be responsible for when the main power supply fails in the middle of a major operation?

    Think on that whilst you are drinking your pink faggot latte you morons!

    1. 75Duster

      Unfortunately Geordie, most tree hugging liberals don’t think of the consequences to any of their actions.
      We currently have a president that would rather chase icebergs than go after terrorists that would like to kill us if we don’t accept their Sharia Law.

      1. Chevy Hatin' Mad Geordie

        So I take it you are a Trump Pumper?

        The present incumbent of the White House’s left ball hairs have 300 times the IQ of that baldy idiot…

        1. Gump

          I\’ll give you trump is an idiot as well, but there a few other guys running in the race as well. Individuals who don\’t buy into this \”global warming/cooling/whatever sounds scarier\” today crap. Need to stop the crazy train before cars, guns and bacon are taken away.

  2. Anthony

    By 2050 if im still on this earth my ass will be in Florida not NY. So I dont give a crap. Screw this place.

  3. 383 Duster

    Chevy Hatin’ Mad Geordie……….I really don’t want to make this political,…..but are you really that stupid or just trying to stir the pot?

  4. crazy canuck

    When that day comes I’ll buy one of those selfrighteous mobiles and stuff my old 12v Cummins in it .

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