Well, the big news this week seems to be that winter weather is cold. Hmm, big shock. But for anybody that actually has to be out in that mess, it is certainly worth the “ZOMG PANIC THERE IS SNOW!” reaction that they are getting. You know that you truly have an abnormal winter storm when you see brodozer diesel pickup trucks actually performing truck-like duties, like the guy with the white Ford that every film crew caught pulling cars out of ditches. (BTW, Ford guy, hats off to you!) As for us…well, two are in California and one is currently in Frozen hell. No, I don’t want to build a snowman, but if you want a little something warm to take the chill off, belly up to the table, where you’ll be served an excellent re-hashing of the week’s news along with the house special, Hot Cocoa and Bailey’s. This is Scrapple!
1. 20,000 All-Electric Brand New Saabs To China? HOW MUCH MONEY?!
Saab, otherwise known as “The Car Company That Just Will Not DIE ALREADY”, has managed to ink a deal via it’s owner, NEVS (National Electric Vehicle Sweden) with Chinese aerospace company Volinco that will see 20,000 new Saab vehicles heading over to China as company cars for a sum nearing $996 million dollars. Rough translation: A new, all-electric Saab for $49,800. Coupled with an earlier deal for 150,000 cars for $12 billion dollars, and there is actually, for the first time, a small glimmer of home that the brand just might spring back to life. It certainly hasn’t died.
2. Yet another Volkswagen failing: The new Beetle Dune.
Growing up, there was a guy in Colorado Springs who owned a Baja Bug, complete with the huge mag wheels and the original fart cannon exhaust, pointed straight up and out of the back like a stinger. That, my friends, is an off-roading Volkswagen. In 2000, Volkswagen toyed with a New Beetle-based Dune concept, and while it was pure nostalgia and nothing more, it had all-wheel-drive, ground clearance and was at least trying to live up to expectations. The picture is of the new Volkswagen Beetle Dune production car. VW, nobody is buying this bullshit. It’s not a Baja, it’s not even off-road-ISH. The Dune might play nice in the sand, and that’s really about it.
3. “Shhh…be vewwy, vewwy quiet…”
Since I’m focused on new cars, let’s take a moment to discuss the upcoming Chevrolet Silverado Realtree Edition pickup. Look…I know that Chevrolet is putting out a bunch of models with snappy paint: Rally Edition, Blackout Edition, etc. Fine. But Realtree? Realistic Woodland Camouflage has now been relegated to a secondary color selection? It is bad enough that I see plenty of Chevrolets (and Fords, and GMCs, and Dodges, and…) running around with camo wrap on them. A factory edition just makes it that much worse. Say no, GM. Sometimes it will do you some good.
4. “Some say, that he threw up the second that she turned off traction control…”
Ever since Jeremy Clarkson punched Oisin Tymon over a missing steak, the world of TopGear fans has been in turmoil. Clarkson was sacked, and James May, Richard Hammond and producer Andy Wilman left the building for an Amazon Prime show. The BBC rushed to get hosts in, and filming with new host Chris Evans, driver extraordinaire Sabine Schmitz, YouTube driver Chris Harris, and David Coulthard has been going on, but the rumor mill from Dunsfold has all the makings of an absolute shitshow: the production team knows jack-all about cars, Evans stuffed a Jaguar during a drive, and this particular photo, when Schmitz, who is one of the more capable drivers on the planet (she is the Queen of the Nurburgring), managed to get Evans to toss his cookies while wringing out a new Audi R8.
5. And the best for last…NASCAR’s Rule Changes for 2016!
You’ll love this one, I promise. NASCAR has made some rule adjustments for the 2016 season that, they hope, will increase the viewing audience of races. I want to see your reactions in the comments sections for these:
That’s right…starting this year, all three racing series will switch to a “Chase”-style setup. And that’s not even the worst bit of news. In the Camping World Truck Series, a “Caution Clock” system will be employed. What’s a Caution Clock, you ask?
That’s right…NASCAR is going to simulate caution laps in the Truck series. Hey, Brian France: you want to know why Tony Stewart thinks you need to stick a crowbar between your shoulder blade and butt cheeks? It’s garbage like this. Whose great idea was it to simulate a caution? The Chase is bad enough, but faking cautions just so you can have close-together restarts and carnage aplenty, never mind the flag official screwing with the race every twenty minutes (if nothing exciting happens). What, CWTS wasn’t violent enough?! Tell Austin Theriault or Ben Kennedy that the racing just wasn’t exciting enough last year and don’t be surprised when either driver cold-cocks you dead square in the chin. I really want to view this situation objectively, but I can’t escape the fact that the words “France Family F***ery” keep popping up into my head…and I’m not a NASCAR fan! What say you, readers?
NASCAR insanity, contrived racing will finally kill it, BYE
Brian France is an idiot. He should be duct taped to the hood of kenseths car the next time he’s chasing down the 22.
Plenty to comment on, like some hen driving an Audi get new Top Gear host to hurl chunks, priceless, this is about the Troll Brian France and how he has taken what what left to him and destroyed it. Some time ago, don’t remember how many years, I recall watching a show, documentary type format, and included was some info about the Troll. It seems that at some point when he was working for the grounds crew mowing grass, I’m thinking in Daytona, his father fired him because he evidently did not have the ability, or self worth, or what ever you want to call it, to meet the basic standards for moving grass. Goes a long way to describing the person behind the Jackass moves he has made after being grandfathered into his current position which he got because he has the same last name as big Bill and Bill Jr. Bottom line, you can’t fix stupid.
This is so stupid it brings NASCAR on par with WWE & Gas Monkey Garage!
Race strategy will be simple: try to stay out of wrecks until the last 20 minutes then really race.
It would be better to make each segment a heat race with a final 50 lap feature for the final, this has worked at short tracks forever and fans understand it.
Here’s a tip – if you still want to watch a truck race, DVR it & fast forward to the las 20 minutes!
I can see better “racing” from a lawn chair aside the NJ Turnpike any day of the week. NASCAR drivers have to stop this themselves.
Tony Stewart is right about Brian France – he is a idiot that doesn’t know what he is doing to NASCAR and he is undoing what he has inherited form his father and grandfather. I stopped watching NASCRAP a long time ago, when I want to see REAL circle track racing, I go to my local dirt track I-55 Raceway.
The NASCAR clock thing has the appearance of stick and ball TV formatting.
Inning splits in Baseball,time outs and end of quarters in Football,same for Basketball.
Networks can sell exact time blocks because they will know exactly when the breaks will come.
Hey if your in the stands,(is there anybody left in the stands?) you can make a p!$$ and beer run on a regular schedule too for those fans over 50 lol.
NASCAR, like NHRA can piss up a fucking rope. Yet another Madison Avenue company disguised as a race organization.Neither of thse jokes will get me to watch.
Typical – that faggot Chris “Huey Ralph” Evans gets carsick even in his garage and Top Gear is dead in the water.
Still its better than the hideous Yorkshireman and his sidekicks making a travesty out of the best car show ever with those ridiculous “challenges” Just remake the whole series with the Sin City Motors crew from Welderup and let’s see what a rat-rodded Lamboghini Huracan looks like…
Homophobia is cool, dude. Keep that dream alive.
NASCAR has been trying to rid its rolling road show of racing for years. Once a big fan, I stopped watching NASCAR many years ago, early 90’s I think, when they black flagged a competitor for ‘passing on the right’ at a road course.
Even then I realized NASCAR was becoming the WWE of motor racing and refused to watch it again.
Now, with this new travesty of a rule they have made it clear that a NASCAR event is nothing more than a ‘made for TV’ orchestration.
The amazing part is that over the years as they have tried again and again to eliminate the racing or write the rules in a manner to keep the cars bunched up they have steadily lost their audience. You would think someone at the top of the organization would say “maybe we should try letting them race”. Nah, it’ll never happen.
I haven’t ever watched an entire Truck race, but I can imagine the pitch meeting on how to get more people in the stands and bigger TV audience. “What is the most exciting part of the race?” Restarts!! “Great, let’s make sure there are a bunch of them every race!”
Dorks. Any one want to make a bet on whether this will make it the whole season before they get pummeled by negative fan reviews?
Brian France can stick one of those vw dung beetles up where his brain is .
If you haven’t heard of or had a chance to read Smokey Yunick’s autobiography I highly suggest the read. If there’s one guy who’s opinion should count based on his experience, expertise, and contributions it’s Smokey.
And when it comes to what’s been happening to this “commercialized sport” since Bill Sr, it’s pretty evident that they don’t care one lick about the back bones the sport is made on or it’s fans.
It’s all about profit – through putting drivers in danger and extorting the public.
Seriously! Let’s penalize those that can excel and put everyone in harms way at every possible chance for sponsors and profit.
If anyone has even a minute or two to spare and is interested in this subject:
Do a quick google on Smokey Yunick, Bill France, and Nascar
If the old boy were still alive today I’m pretty sure when asked for comment he would humorously tell you how it is, where they could go, and how the little F’n France turned out even worse than the original king of bulls#!t Hahaha