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Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-Worthy News! This Week: Sagging Tanks, Pizza Problems and BEES!


Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-Worthy News! This Week: Sagging Tanks, Pizza Problems and BEES!

Dude, it’s been two days…are you still feeling the effects of St. Patrick’s Day drinking? I hope not…if you are, either you’re too old to be doing Irish Car Bombs like you’re a college frat boy or you need to relax after your fifth bottle of Jameson. Either way, you should probably take today off and just continue to let the alcohol leave your body. Take some aspirin for your headache, sip water to get your hydration back to normal, and maybe nibble just a bit on our Scrapple. It’s fresh, we promise…and it has to taste better than what you swore passed for good corned beef and hash.

1. Find another car, pizza boy.The Domino’s DXP is a Chevy Spark that Local Motors…you know, the folks behind the Rally Fighter…turned into the ultimate pizza delivery vehicle. It’s actually a pretty neat use for a Chevy Spark, because the only other reason we know of to own one is as a pit vehicle. Apparently two DXPs found their way to Copart via accidents…and a YouTuber picked them up. That guy, “Samcrac”, restored one of the DXPs after he got it from Copart last year for a few hundred dollars…and now Domino’s is on his case to either hand the car over, or to have every bit of identity associated with the brand removed, including the side-mounted oven. People have called offering ten thousand dollars to buy the car off of him. People have called him, basically telling him to turn it back into a regular Spark. He’s gotten letters from lawyers, cease-and-desist notices, and purchase agreements, and more. Interesting bits of tactic from a company that allowed a teenager to make an “oops” pizza every other night so he didn’t have to spend as much money on groceries.

2. NOT THE BEES!

A.J. Foyt is known to be a hardass, even in his eighties, but he didn’t need to prove it…again. For the second time in a little over ten years, Foyt has survived an attack by Africanized honey bees. According to Racer.com, Foyt got the worst of it around the face, eyes and neck after he opened up a nest while using a bulldozer on his property. Other than a blood pressure reading of 260/1116 and some discomfort, Foyt was ok and went back to the bees with a few gallons of diesel fuel and a mission. This attack was worse than his 2005 incident, when he got stung over 200 times just on his head alone, and caused him to miss his induction into the 12 Hours of Sebring Hall of Fame and his role as the race’s Grand Marshall.

3. (I’m not making a joke here. I’m not doing it.)

The Roseanne 300 was ran this weekend. Seriously, the 150-lap race at Auto Club Speedway in Fontana, California was the Roseanne 300. Joey Logano took the checkered flag. I’ve got nothing to say that isn’t going to get me fired, so moving along…

4. Get it right and get it tight!

Is the gas tank in your Ram sagging? Has the rust belt got your Longhorn’s feedbag drooping like…well, you know what it’s like? Then have we got the solution for you: get that saggin’ tank over to your local dealership to see if your truck is one of the 270,000 2009-14 trucks that fall under a voluntary recall.

5. …because, Japan.

Hello Kitty Bullet Train. That’s it, I quit. See you next week!


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6 thoughts on “Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-Worthy News! This Week: Sagging Tanks, Pizza Problems and BEES!

  1. chevy hatin' mad geordie

    Hello Kitty Bullet Train my ass!

    That’s the Hello Pussy wheeled personal pleasuring device….

  2. Bill Butte

    “Joey, come here and fix my ingrown toenail! And while you’re down there, shake that carpet out!!”

  3. Matt Cramer

    Add a battery pack with enough energy to fire a pound of bacon into the asteroid belt, and paint it with the Cosa Nostra Pizza logo.

  4. Tubbed Pacecar

    Dominoes has lost it. As soon as the insurance Co paid them out, they no longer own the car, so other than removing any signage, I can’t imagine they have any legal standing to impose their will on the new owner.
    In the future, they may want to remove any signage, ovens, etc before the car goes into a salvage auction, as legally, I don’t think they have much control over what the new owner does.
    ***But that doesn’t mean they won’t have their flotilla of lawyers try & badger him into submission….

    Amazing that a Co selling Cheese covered cardboard in a cardboard box has the $$ & power to go to these lengths??

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