It’s weird to me, how quickly a limousine goes from being the car you want to be seen in to being the car you never want to be near. It seems to happen in the blink of an eye. Maybe it’s because I never went to prom in a limo, never had a limo at a wedding, or whatnot but to me, breaking out the big long car meant that you were part of an occasion. This wasn’t any ordinary day. You were in a limousine. You minded your manners, you kept your hands to yourself, and you thanked the chauffeur when they opened the door for you. Then I blink again and look at my wife’s face as she looks directly at the Cadillac that is currently parked right in front of the shop at BangShift Mid-West. You want an accurate description on how she feels about that car? She hates that f***er. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. She is tolerating it because it means that (A) I have something to do and (B) she knows that I have exactly zero room to move on any new car with three tons of Body By Fisher in the drive. The fact that it can actually be used as an SUV replacement or cargo hauler isn’t lost on her (or me) either. In fact, before the partnership’s big plans for the limo come to fruition, I plan on making several trips between the local hardware store’s Lawn and Garden section and my house this year, filling up that monster cave in the back of the car to the brim with gardening supplies, mulch, and whatever else I need to satisfy my green thumb this year. Who knows, maybe I’ll bring another home-grown watermelon to the track with me. Chad didn’t seem to mind too much last time.

Then again, with the weather that BangShift Mid-West is about to get this week, it might be better if I take the Oregon Trail route: caulk it up and pray to everything holy that it floats. Noah’s Ark it is not, but if it’ll stay above water with my wife, myself and our cats, it’ll serve it’s purpose. So as I figure out just how much sealer and spray foam I’ll need to get to waterproof a monster Cadillac, here’s a question for you: how many uses can you come up with for an old limo? We’re talking the $2,000 Craigslist find…it runs and drives alright, and the front area is probably safe enough, but you aren’t putting the car back into service anytime soon. To give you something to think about, check out this Gambler 500-prepared Town Car swinging it’s tail out on a beach in a promotional video below: