The automatic transmission’s job is highly underrated. Scratch that…the transmission’s job is underrated. Converting the force from the engine’s crankshaft that is being driven by controlled explosions into a twisting force used to drive the wheels isn’t a difficult design, but the parts that make that magic happen had better be up to the task. Automatic or manual, if the transmission ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy. The only thing about that: I’ve yet to see a manual transmission outright explode entirely and I sure haven’t seen one catch fire.

Why am I rambling on? Yesterday was supposed to be the day that the Cougar got driven to the county police station for it’s inspection, the last step before I put license plates onto our newest resident beater. Things looked great, right up until the smell of warm Mercon started to fill my nostrils and the AOD decided that it was done playing games. The short story is that a pressurized line failed and acted like a slit artery, spraying a red mist directly upwards right about the same local area as the catalytic converter. I’ve nearly removed my eyebrows in a situation involving a hot converter and spilled ATF…it created a fireball that I am still amazed didn’t wipe out my car or the house I was leasing at the time. To say that transmission failure is now on my mind is an understatement. I’m glad the Mercury only made a mess. A slipping automatic is the best-case scenario if things go wrong. The worst case? The explosion. Chrysler TorqueFlites are infamous for this trick, but as you’ll see below, they aren’t the only units that can pull the frag grenade trick. This driver is lucky that he got out of the car in an unperforated state, with limbs and digits intact, and is very lucky that his fluid didn’t catch fire.