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Canadian Tire Commissioned A Functional Ice Truck And They Used It To Break A World Record….This Is A Thing That Happened


Canadian Tire Commissioned A Functional Ice Truck And They Used It To Break A World Record….This Is A Thing That Happened

They’ve gone and done it now. Those rabble rousing sons-a-bitches at Canadian Tire have pushed the world to the brink of war with their latest attention seeking, headline making, world record breaking creation. That’s right, Canadian Tire now owns the Guinness World’s Record for the world’s fastest self powered ice sculpture after driving an ice-bodied truck for a mile at a speed of 12 miles per hour. We have no idea who they knocked off the record perch but just by watching the video below you can see sculptors wielding chainsaws and tools in that reserved but cocky way that northern ice sculptors do. Frankly, the distinct lack of denim jackets makes us think that this whole thing may have been done one a sound stage in California. If so, this is the biggest fraud since the “moon landing” in 1969. (Disclaimer: I think the moon landing was real, however Dave Nutting does not)

This is actually a pretty cool deal. Built as a publicity stunt to promote a line of batteries designed to live through the harsh and tough weather conditions Canadian vehicles regularly see, a bare Chevy chassis was used as the starting point and then the ice guys went nutso from there. We don’t know if the thing was held together by its own sheer weight, if the blocks were somehow pinned together, or if slabs of Canadian bacon were used as body mounts, but we do know that this determined group of people who have artistic skills and probably also have well conditioned livers did a fine job in making this whole thing work. The truck look boss and judging by the video it didn’t lose any parts of pieces on its trip. We know someone out there was secretly hoping for a salt truck to drive by and that person is a really insensitive jerk. A lot of work went into this thing you creep!

Canadian Tire obviously achieved their objective in getting some attention with the truck considering that it has been around the block over the last couple days after the video hit the interwebs. If the Canadians can build an ice truck, I think that it is only appropriate that we Americans build a bacon truck and run that mother up to 14-miles per hour. Yes, we’d be in a different class but let’s face it, bacon is many times cooler than ice. Ever try frying ice? It gets all bubbly and weird. No fun.

PRESS PLAY BELOW TO SEE CANADIAN TIRE’S ICE TRUCK SLOWLY ROAM THE STREETS (OR A STRINGENTLY PRE-MEASURED ROUTE) IN CANADA!


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8 thoughts on “Canadian Tire Commissioned A Functional Ice Truck And They Used It To Break A World Record….This Is A Thing That Happened

  1. Dave Nutting

    Whoa whoa whoa. Don’t go pegging me as a moon landing conspiracy nut yet again. Do I have to call up Buzz Aldrin and tell him that “Brian Lohnes” is a pseudonym of Bart Sibrel?

    1. William Wilson

      Moon Landing denier is a pretty harsh label to shake.

      It should be grounds for taking away a person’s driving licence.

      Because if you don’t think man walked on the moon then you are unfit to be a gearhead.

  2. stump chunkman

    Making a truck out of blocks of ice just gives credence to my theory that the designers at GM responsible for this generation’s body style just stole their kids’ Legos.

  3. Scott Liggett

    I am guessing no heater in this model?

    It would be funny to see Canadian beer bottles frozen into the ice blocks.

  4. Doc

    Ice sculptors usually just damp the blocks of ice and they re-freeze together.
    I work at an auto parts store and it was -40 yesterday and today. We sold a LOT of batteries.

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