(By Greg Rourke) – I don’t know how many times I’ve thought to myself “I could really use a bunch of firewood. Also, I’m tired of having so many fingers and limbs. I wonder what my deductible is for emergency room visits?” Here we have some guys who put a lot of thought into ways to split wood, maybe not so much concern for safety.
First we have a slowly rotating shaft with a gnarly looking claw to split the wood. Looks pretty unforgiving, but at least it’s moving slow.
Then we have real exercise in disregard for body parts. A giant flywheel with a splitter whipping around at the speed of sound. Speaking of sound, this thing whacking the wood sounds like Bernies dead body hitting navigation bouys in the 80s flick Weekend At Bernies. Our intrepid operator is wearing safety glasses and hearing protection, perhaps to offset the Jellys on his feet.
Next we have a giant hit and miss engine because open flywheels and installing a belt on a running engine might be the safest part of this operation. Wait til you see how fast the splitting wedge hits the wood and how fast you better get your fingers the hell out of the way.
Finally we some sort of grindy thing. Not sure what one uses the finished product for, but it might be the safest machine we’ll see today.
Hmm…it’s almost spring, maybe I don’t need firewood after all.
As an experienced firewooder, I have to say that the rig with the giant flywheel is the only one I find inherently dangerous.
The whirlygig pole chopper seems kinda useless but not too dangerous, assuming standard firewood processing awareness.
The wedge splitters are actually quite slick, perfect timing and the willingness to back off at the last second being the key to safe operation.
my hands &arms are worth fare more than wood chips
Eventually, with no respect for individual body parts, comes true workout. A splitter on a huge flywheel spinning faster than sound. Speaking of sound, the way this is striking the wood reminds me of the scene in the 1980s movie Weekend At Bernies when Bernie’s dead corpse is hitting the navigation buoys. To counteract the Jellys on his feet, our intrepid operator is sporting safety eyewear and hearing protection.