It’s been long enough since I worked at the store that I think I can tell this story. When I signed on at The Store, there were three women that worked behind the counter: two college-age girls who needed part-time work and a mother who was trying to make ends meet. Two of them were great to work with. Then there was the third one. I was warned by Warehouse Guy, Goofy and the others that she was…how do I put this delicately?…”friendly”, and that I should probably keep my distance if I wanted to keep my sanity intact, my marriage together, and my health report STD-free. I thought they were blowing smoke, or at least one of them had been the victim of a bad encounter with the lady…hey, everybody deserves a fair first shot, and I didn’t know her from Eve. But sure enough, one month into my career, as myself and one of the guys were closing down the store, she made her move and straight up asked me if I’d like to come chill at her house tonight instead of going home. I was stunned silent for a moment…it’s not often that a guy who willingly wears a paper bag to hide his face gets propositioned…then I just used a line that involved the words “not even for the practice” to shut her down with. Were her feelings hurt? I don’t care.
I don’t understand 95% of relationships that form as a result of working together. Yes, there are rare incidents that create wonderful, happy couples and for them, I’m glad and wish them well. But more often than not, a pair of lovebirds that figured out that second shift presented them with Mister Right and Missus Right Now is nothing short of misery…not only for them when the the romance goes down in flames faster than a shot-up bomber, but for everyone around them who has to deal with all of the drama.
Here’s what you think it looks like:
Here’s what it really looks like to the rest of us:
First of all, the parts store isn’t exactly a romantic place to be. Ok, scratch that: it just might be the most unsexy place to be, short of the manure shed at a cow farm. Auto parts, accessories and assorted chemicals do not work in harmony to create the perfect backdrop for your lonely heart to find love, I don’t give a damn if she was standing next to the tubes of grease and giving you a “come hither” look. It certainly wasn’t the uniform shirt, and I sincerely doubt that it was the way he leaned against the loading door as the rotors were turning on the lathe. Counter people are pissed off and have a headache, spend every working day losing their faith in humanity just to return for another round the next day, and are seconds away from beating someone to death with a wiper arm just because. Why would you even bother hitting on them?
Now, let’s address the happy couple that apparently ignored the downsides and fell deep into love. They work together. They make goo-goo eyes every time they pass, say the same saccharine lines to each other every other dopey couple say to each other, and they suffer together on the clock. Do you know how badly you are irritating your other co-workers? It would be all I could do to not take a one-ton truck’s rear disc brake and jam it on top of Mr. Romance’s head until it’s a permanent metal hat. Don’t worry, the little lady will think it looks ravishing! OH…and speaking of…if you ever get the idea to actually consummate your three-day-old relationship inside of the store, I HOPE AND PRAY that you get fired. Not for being in a relationship…for that, check your store’s policies…but because you two just contaminated the work place for everyone. Hang a sign on the front door: “Sorry, but because Danny and Rachel couldn’t contain their love, we are closed for business. We will re-open once the Centers for Disease Control finish a store-wide disinfecting. We appreciate your patience.”
Please be mature: leave your romance out of the workplace, be careful and for the love of all that is holy, discreet if you do become involved with a co-worker, and don’t burden your co-workers with your newfound love. And if you’re the type that is trying to sleep their way up the ladder at an auto parts store, please, just go jump off of a bridge. You can make positions just by turnaround alone, and if you can’t, it means that you aren’t working out. If love is in the air, I’m gonna go get the Lysol and spray it around…keep that s*!# out of the workplace!
I’m not sure I understand your squimishness about what your copulating coworkers are doing when nothing but the security cameras are rolling. Quite seriously, I suspect there is at least one Chrysler product that you own which has all the fluids, human and otherwise, scattered throughout it.
My brother met his wife at the Ford store the three of us used to work at, my brother was a tech and she was a service adviser. So, like you said, sometimes (VERY rarely) it does work out. They’ve been together over 15 years now.
Let’s not forget the drama and workplace contamination that occurs when the workplace romance goes south and the angry, injured parties still must work around each other. Your co-workers now have to put up with the arctic like weather patterns following one or both of the unfortunate lovebirds, the inevitable breakdown of relationships and the party line divisions in support of one or the other. Let’s not forget the angry or heartbroken interactions that inevitably occur at inappropriate times at inappropriate locations. More often then not this will be at a peak customer period at a front counter of desk or in the middle of the floor with all their co-workers within earshot (who are expected to mind their own business). I guarantee there will be at least one epic confrontation at the front door, loading dock or in the middle of the parking lot.
If you are going to have a workplace fling – please have the decency to kill yourselves or each other when it all goes bad… your co-workers will appreciate your selflessness.
As a professional wrench/office manager and beginner parts counter guy I’ve been around the block a few times. I’ve seen things, man. The only thing that has ever come from work place romances (In my experience) can be boiled down to one word; Toxic. Out of the hundreds of blossoming garage romances I’ve been witness to over the last 22+ years only one has lasted more than a couple years. Hell, couples in the same profession in different places never seem to last.
Shoot Whom ? Parts guy or cupid ?? (|:-o<
All I gotta say is, be glad you don’t work in restaurants. It’s like working in a swingers club half the time.