This is one of those jaw dropping Craigslist ads that just makes you both smile and shake your head in sympathy with the poor guy who wrote it. Basically what we have here is a dude who is having to sell his 1997 Pontiac Trans-Am. The same guy is also apparently getting divorced from a woman who he does not seem to fond of. The way he manages to compare and contrast the car and his (soon to be) ex-wife is hilarious. Yes, it is kind of mean but we’re guessing that she isn’t exactly running around the place and praising him either.
We have showed you some pretty stinking’ hilarious “angry spouse” CL ads over the years her but this one may actually take the cake. There is not a single photo of the car, no real hards sales pitch to move it, but there is a guy writing something that you KNOW he took a lot of pleasure in. We’ll provide a link to the ad below, but first, here’s the text in case the original listing gets lost to the internet vapors!
(Because we’re pretty much certain this one will be disappearing fast, here’s the text of the ad for your reading pleasure) –
Ive got a 97 Pontiac TransAm convertable for sale…
HER or the CAR?
Your Choice…
But The Car is Better Looking & A Whole Lot Cheaper!
1997 Pontiac TransAm Convertable
As much as this car & my wife are loved and will be missed. I am forced to part with both, So my loss is your gain here. The car has less than 73,000 miles on it, her- a little more-just saying. The car has never seen snow, she can be as cold as ice. The car was garage stored when not in use, she is making me move out to the garage. This car has extraordinary acceleration with the 5.7L LT1 V8, superior handling, excellent value, head-turning looks, unique interior design, great fuel economy, and a throaty boasting exhaust, which beats a bitchy mouth any day.
Lets Compare Spec’s
1997 Trans AM
Soon To Be Ex-Wife
Muscle Car
Pretentious Witch
Drop top model
Snob Model
High Performance Motor
Motor Mouth Low performance brain
Extraordinary Acceleration
Wants Reparations
5.7L LT1 V8 producing 385 hp @ 5900 rpm
36 27 39 @ 5″8′
Produces 420 lb·ft at 4600 rpm
Produced My Kids
4-speed automatic Transmission
1-Speed… Slow
Active Fuel Management
Active Micro Management
Independent Four-Wheel Suspension System
Fully Dependant Decision Making System
StabiliTrak electronic stability/traction control
Unstable & No Control
Competitive/Sport modes
Vindictive Modus Operandi
Launch Control
Launches argument at every opportunity
Standard Air Bags
Mother In Law Windbag
Appearance Package
Gave Up on Appearance
TA Specific Taillamps and Wheels
used rear end needs clearence lights
Spoiler
Spoiled
Headlamps with Integrated Halo Rings
Devil Horns Glowing red eyes and sags in all the wrong places
Variable-Rate Power Steering
Variable-Rate Bitch Mode
Throaty Exhaust
Throating Nothing Ever
Precision Handling
Loose on entry
Under 73k Miles
Over 730k Miles
Supercar Performance
Winning Drama Performance
Neon Trim Lighting Color Matched To Interior
Carpet does not match the drapes
16 cty/24 hwy mpg
2 hours between Tim Hortons
No stripe package
Baby Stripe package-in Stretch Mark White
Competitive/Sport modes
Passive/Aggressive Modes
Brembo Four Piston Disc Brake Systems
Doesn’t Know when To Stop
Two Tone Leather Interior
To Tan Leather Exterior
Never had any problems
Too Many to list
Full Onboard Diagnostic System OBD-II
Unable to Diagnose Problem
Rack and Pinion Steering
Armpit Rack
Car runs good, drives good, brakes are good, top is in good shape, stops good.
Cant say that about my ex….
I hope he gets rid of her before he sells the car. My condolences to the seller of the Trans Am.
“Loose on entry”
Old saying; “No matter how good looking she is, some guy somewhere is sick of her shit”