BangShifter Jake McDonald gets the gold star for finding and pointing us in the direction of this hilarious and awesome Craigslist ad selling a 1978 Chevy El Camino in Oregon. We have seen some funny CL ads in the past that turned out to be complete rip-offs of older ads but we did our due diligence this time and it sure seems like this is completely original ad copy. The dude who wrote it seems like someone we would love to sit down a chug a couple of beers with. The jokes aren’t all hackneyed and bad, we found ourselves genuinely into it, and he manages to hit bald eagles, Hondas, and apple pie…along with a million other topics. This is fun stuff.

While we normally do not include the text for the ad in he blog, we’re doing it here in case the ad is removed for whatever reason. This is hilarious –

What we got here is a 1978 Chevy El Camino.
The automotive mullet. Business up front. Party in the back.
Son, this vehicle is so thoroughly American it makes bald eagles shed tears of joy:
-The exhaust smells of apple pie.*
-The radio will only play a looping playlist consisting of “Carry On My Wayward Son,” “Don’t Stop Believing,” “Free Bird,” and “Born In The USA.”**
-Sitting in the driver’s seat results in instant growth of thick, luxurious chest hair.***

Now, I’ll be honest with you. If it weren’t for our deep patriotism, and the car’s clean body and paint job it’d see a scrapyard. For the safety of us all the engine and transmission have been removed; can’t have a monster powerhouse like that falling into the wrong hands like some sissy Prius driver and/or, God forbid, the communists. If you want to tame this star-spangled, testosterone-pumping, gasoline-chugging, direct-reflection-on-your-manhood you’re going to have to obtain your own Chevy small block and transmission. Luckily you live in the greatest, most American country on earth. America. Such engines are abundant and cheap. Just as Jesus would have wanted.

This rolling tribute to life, liberty, and the pursuit of acid-washed jean jackets has a few other points that need addressed. First off the differential carrier came down with an unacceptably chronic case of “the wuss” in the face of the former power plant and it’s insatiable appetite for ‘totally-balls-to-the-wall**** burnouts.’ It will either need replaced (again, cheap and plentiful) or welded solid. For similar reasons it will also need to have the rear passenger-side rim repaired or replaced. It holds air, but only temporarily.

You know that kid at the end of your street with the 240sx or Honda? Fill his sight with his numerous inadequacies. Be the bigger man. Buy this car.
Are you that kid at the end of the street with the 240sx or Honda? Sell it. Buy yourself some big-boy pants. Put them on and then buy this car.

E-Mail only until we’re sure you’re not a filthy commie.

*It doesn’t.
**Blatant falsehoods.
***Figuratively.
****Technical term.

SCROLL DOWN TO SEE A COUPLE OF PHOTOS AND THEN HIT THE LINK TO SEE THE CRAIGSLIST AD –